Is Barack Obama Three-Fifths of a President?

Shameful

The question, in all of its absurdity, must be asked: is Barack Hussein Obama three-fifths of a president?

Since the inception of the office of the President of The United States there has always been a level of respect that is given to the office if not the man. This has not been the case for President Obama’s tenure.

It is a common occurrence in U.S. politics that to the victor goes the ire. Most often 49% of the population does not agree with a particular party or candidate. There is a guarantee for citizens to voice their displeasure in the first amendment and it is one of our most cherished rights. But that right can and often is a double-edged sword.

During the presidency of George W. Bush, I along with most of the people I know

(who didn’t vote for him-twice) were calling him everything but a child of God. In our eyes we had good reason as the man made numerous gaffes on the international stage and in all fairness he was a horrible statesman, worse orator and presided over the worst economic and domestic period in American history since the Civil War.

Enter Barack Obama; perhaps not a staggering icon of experience but a reassuring voice of reason at a time when America was two minutes from midnight.

After nearly a decade of having, as near as anyone could tell, a brain dead “cowboy” running roughshod over the U.S. Constitution and the people it was enacted to protect, senator Obama won the reigns of a nation that was entirely out of whack and headed pell-mell for the cliff of oblivion.

Clevon Little as Bart

It smacks of Mel Brook’s classic western send up “Blazing Saddles”. Bart, the black Sherriff (Obama), is sent in to Rockridge (United States) and of course, is hated by the people even when he is nice and prevents the town from being overrun by Mongo (terrorism, economic ruin, etc…) by tricking and placating him. The sad part is that in Blazing Saddles, the townsfolk-as ignorant and vile as townsfolk can get-eventually grow to respect and admire Bart. Here in the United States, the reality is that the more president Obama does to help, the less he is liked.

No president in history, from what history of such events can be compiled, has been as disrespected as president Obama. The office of the President of the United States is the most powerful office on the face of the planet, the most important position known to man since the invention of society and our president is, in the eyes of many, a nigger.

It’s not that he is being disrespected as a politician or a law maker-which he is-but he is being disrespected in such a way as to incite violence among his supporters and supporters of civil rights the world over.

Keep it down!

The man won a Nobel Peace Prize essentially for having common sense. He won arguably the most coveted and respected award in the world for injecting hope, not just in the American people, but in the world! The Global Consciousness Project measured a response in its network equal to then greater than other events that have affected the world! Around the world he is heralded, at home he is a witch doctor from darkest Africa coming for your god and your guns.  

Lauren Victoria Burke wrote a piece for politic365.com that lists the 10 most disrespectful events in Barack Obama’s tenure. First of all, the list is not exhaustive and there are at least two events that have never happened to a president-ever. So, not only are there 10 “most disrespectful” moments (so far) there are two unprecedented events. The list doesn’t include the myriad Tea Party rallies and other demonstrations depicting the president as a big lipped aberration.

Actually happened

So again, the question must be asked: is Barack Obama a three-fifths president?

For the uninitiated, the three-fifths clause in the Constitution allows a slave to be counted as three-fifths of a person for the purposes of taxation and representation in the Congress.

This congress has been woefully inadequate in passing any type of legislature, even bills that uniformly help the whole of the United States, and I wonder if it has to do with the president’s creed or his color. The opposition heaped upon this administration has exceeded that of any other administration when facing an opposition congress. So the question is: why?

Found the crazies!

Why are there people falling out in the street begging to get their country back? Back from where or from whom? The “Birther movement”-a blot on the flag-asking to see president Obama’s birth certificate, as if the IRS, FBI, Secret Service, etc were not thorough enough. Also, let’s not forget he had a driver’s license, student loans and was a United States Senator! If we’re being honest, the founding fathers were not born in the United States; wouldn’t George Washington’s birth certificate prove that he was born in a British colony? Absurd, right? Yes. It is. 

I’m not going to do the math for you; fractions were never my strong suit. But by all accounts this president, who has done more in his tenure than the previous president did in two terms, is being treated like a second class citizen. Why?

You can read Ms. Burke’s Article here

America, LLP.

There has been a great deal of talk about job creation during the 2011/2012 presidential campaign season and it makes me wonder about the caliber of candidates the GOP is shilling.

 Now, let me be clear, I have no chauvinistic affiliations with any party, I vote based on merit. If I believe the Republican/Democrat/Libertarian candidate is what’s best for America, then they get my vote. Period.

That being said, I have not had cause to vote Republican or Libertarian in the few presidential elections I have been able to vote in. The reason being that the candidates from these parties seem to think that America is a business instead of a country a republic-an “idea” is the most apt definition I can give of this land.

It strikes me as cold, and I admit to leaning a bit left when it comes to some of the major issues, but it strikes me as cold when candidates relate their business acumen as a major tenet of their presidentiality (verb. Skill set needed to be president of the United States. Not actually a word-yet).  Is the United States a corporation? Are our Senators our immediate supervisors? How would that work and who do I talk to about getting a raise!?

If America, LLP, is to exist and the president is the CEO, is the Constitution the code of conduct? The Declaration of Independence must be the mission statement. Is the Civil Rights Act the employee handbook? Where is human resources because I have a few staffing issues I would like to talk to them about.

Candidates for the position of CEO from the GOP staffing office are trying to abolish the payroll department as well as get rid of the group healthcare coverage that many employees so desperately need. They are claiming to do good things as well, such as fix the fence in the backyard to prevent non-employees from doing jobs that employees themselves don’t want to do.

Is being an American a job? Can you quit? Can you get fired?

Having taken a bevy of political science classes during my tenure as a student in almost all levels of education, I never once thought of the president as a CEO. Maybe its youthful naïveté speaking but even as an adult, I cannot conceive of the fact that being a CEO is enough to garner the most powerful job in the world. What do you think?

The Electric Car - Old Idea, New Spark

Contrary to popular belief, the electric car is not a new idea. The first electric car was built in 1832-that’s right almost 180 years ago!. The recent popularity of the idea has been spurned on by unrest in the Middle East, rising gas prices, and concern over environmental effects of the burning of fossil fuels. But why are we interested now instead of 180 years ago?

The first advanced electric car was designed by Ferdinand Porsche.

In 1897, the first commercial application of electric vehicles was instituted in New York City with fleet of Taxi’s. In 1899, a Belgian built electric car set a land speed record-68 mph. Electric cars were easier to use with no gear changes necessary, cleaner than gasoline cars and easier to start than the steam powered option of the day.

In 2011, the electric car has resurged with new interest. With the strife in the Middle East, a booming Chinese demand for oil and the natural disasters that come from large oil spills such as the one in the Gulf coast-the public was asking for new alternatives. 

The Chevrolet Volt

The automotive industry has responded before with electric vehicles but they were unable to create mass appeal as gas was about $3 cheaper per gallon. So the idea was scrapped-literally. Until now, like a Phoenix struck by lightening, the electric vehicle has emerged from the scrap yards and into mass production.

Vehicles like the Chevy Volt and the Nissan Leaf have captured the imagination and wallets of Americans who have become pump weary. The chief complaint about electric vehicles is the need for recharge stations. 100 years ago the same thing was said about gasoline powered cars.

Moving forward, we will need to have energy dependence from fossil fuels. It is a well known fact that there is a finite amount of oil in the world whereas electricity is a renewable resource. If we couple that with hydrogen-the most plentiful element in the known universe- in an electric/hydrogen fuel cell and our energy crisis has been solved.

 

There are detractors saying that a switch to electric vehicles would kill thousands of jobs in the oil refinery business. First of all, we use oil for many things outside of gasoline and oil changes. Secondly, people can learn new things. We are not talking about old dogs here. One of America’s best strengths has been its indomitable workforce. If we implement a federally funded training program for displaced roughnecks to work in the new industry then we will have the necessary infrastructure to sustain the new energy initiative.

That this has yet to happen is a testament to the nature of greed and the power of lobbyist in Washington. Energy dependence is a matter of national security. Imagine a world when the last drop of oil is siphoned from the core of the earth. It will be chaos and anarchy if we are not adequately prepared. It is time for the electric vehicle to be our dominant mode of transportation. 

Beaus and Eros - The History of St. Valentine's Day

Love is a many splendored thing. It fills us with hope and clouds our judgment with doubt. It can lift us to new heights or send us reeling into depressing depths. How ever it plays out, there is one day of the year when it is celebrated across the world: Valentine’s Day.

On February 14^th all across the U.S., Canada, Mexico, Australia and the United Kingdom lovers will exchange tokens of the undying affection. This holiday is bitter sweet as those who have loved and lost may not find solace in the pink and red aisle at the grocery store. But for those still entwined in loves embrace, this is a day to show their loved one just how much they mean to them-by buying them a card or a new car.

Who is this St. Valentine and why do we celebrate his legacy in the middle of the coldest month of the year? The answer lies in antiquity and is shrouded in legend.

St. Valentine, as recognized by the Catholic Church, has many legends surrounding his romantic past. It has been said that he was a priest in Rome during the third century performing marriages while they were illegal according to a decree of Emperor Claudius II.

Another legend says that while he was imprisoned he fell in love with the jailors daughter who visited him during his sentence. It is said that he wrote to her just before his death and signed his letter “from your Valentine”…sound familiar?

St. Valentine had a romantic past to be sure, but why do we celebrate his romantic exploits in the dead of winter?

Some claim that we celebrate St. Valentine in February to commemorate the date of his death in 270AD. Others say that it was the Christian church’s effort to “Christianize” the pagan festival of Lupercalia which began on February 15^th. During the Middle Ages, it was celebrated on February 14^th as this was thought to be the beginning of the mating season for birds-a fitting day if there ever was.

In recent history, Valentine’s Day has been celebrated with a powerful token of appreciation: the greeting card. In the1840’s, Esther A. Howland-the “Mother of the Valentine” begin mass producing elaborately designed greeting cards made of lace and ribbon. The tradition has grown to the point where an estimated one billion cards are sent on Valentine’s Day making it the second busiest greeting card day of the year after Christmas.

When Cupid’s arrow strikes true it is a wonderful feeling. It is an experience that is known cross-culturally throughout the world. How ever you show your affection, Valentine’s Day is a global holiday that celebrates the best in human nature. 

The Emperor's New Clothes or Why Most People Should Not Be In Charge

If it is possible to understate a made up fact, I gonna try: 99% of people who are in charge should not be.  I’m talking about political leaders, bosses, police chiefs, Senior Patrol Leaders in the scouts...most of you- more than 99%who currently hold those offices- should not have the position that you currently do.

We know you took the job for the money or the authority or both and those are the exact reasons that you should be brought to the town square and flogged. Now, 99% of us have the jobs we have for the money, so this is not a commentary on greed or capitalism. It is a commentary on how we allowed the worst sort to have positions of leadership.

Just about everyone has had a boss, teacher, coach that they despise. These leaders turn despotic at the first sniff of power and do little to inspire, educated or lead those in their charge. I’m not saying that everyone in a leadership position needs to be the Philosopher King, but wouldn’t it be nice?

Wouldn't it be nice if just once we had a selfless boss who put your needs and the needs of the company ahead of their own? Wouldn’t it be nice if we could have a Senator that couldn’t be bought? Or a supervisor that would stand up for you in the office place instead of selling you out for an “atta boy”?

I know the world is a cut throat place where the nice get their collective throats stepped on by those who place individual want over universal need. But why would we want that dick in charge? Plato says it best: “The price good men pay for indifference to public affairs is to be ruled by evil men.”

If you are tired of having your throat stepped on then tuck your chin, stand up and fight for yourself and for those around you that are to meek to tuck their chin. If you have it in you to make a change, if you contain a modicum of temerity then you must act. If you do not then you are worse than the lowest tyrant.

Your act does not have to be one of martyrdom.  You can simply say, “hey, stop being a dick” or “you may think that your managerial style is above reproach but it is sorely lacking the tenets of leadership that we require as a staff.” Do not ever be afraid to tell the emperor that he/she is naked-they may thank you for it or they may have you executed but your conscious-the thing making you cuss your “leader” out in traffic or under your breath in the meeting-will be free. 

Oh Holy Tooth

On a seasonably warm Christmas Eve morning  seeing a full parking lot would not be an interesting sight as this the crunch time for last minute shoppers. Though at 7:30 am, seeing  the parking lot in front of the Comfort Dental  at 4693 Morse Rd stuffed like a Dickensian Christmas goose is worthy of a raised eyebrow. 

The good folks at Comfort Dental were up this morning, not making sure that the stockings were hung by the chimney with care but rather giving the gift of free dental service. Since 1984, Comfort Dental has been performing free simple dental services for those in need during their “Care Day” on Christmas Eve.

For the last 20 years Dr. Larry Gamby DDS shares in this labor of love and holiday spirit with his staff. He says, “Care Day was provided to help everyone to be able to get dental care...” Dr. Gamby and his staff perform simple procedures such as cleanings, fillings and the occasional extraction for free for those with and without insurance.

Says Dr. Gamby, “There are patients here who have insurance and there’s people who have literally nothing.” A waiting room full of those in need of basic dental care-on Christmas Eve mind you-when asked if they had dental insurance, out of 25 people only 2 hands were raised. A sobering reminder of the state of health care in central Ohio and across the U.S.; many American are still uninsured and have to trek to places like Comfort Dental on Care Day to get the services they need. “This is something we love to do.” says Dr. Gamby of his staff’s commitment  to providing free dental care on this Christmas Eve morning.

Dr. Gamby(far left top row) and his staff on Care Day

While Congress and pundits bicker back and forth about the merits of universal health care, it is a wonderful feeling knowing that even those without insurance can receive the care they need. The gift that Comfort Dental gives each year goes beyond the hope of receiving free dental care. It is the gift of knowing that there are people that do care about the welfare of their neighbors and this Christmas Eve, many across central Ohio will be receiving the gift a new smile-minus a tooth or two. 

An open letter to the movie going public

I consider myself a Die Hard movie patron, I hope you are Die Hard 2, and I have noticed a Clear and Present Danger in the movie viewing experience.

There seems to be no Sense and Sensibility to the thought processes of my fellow movie goers and the theaters themselves. I have been to the movies in the last month almost as many times as I’ve been to class and I have noticed a general lack of common sense and civility. 

First of all I paid My Left Foot just to get in the door and For a Few Dollars More I might be able to eat.

This is another issue I have with going to the movies.  Price of concessions has gone From Here to Eternity.  An article on CNNMoney.com states that “A medium bag of popcorn costs just 60 cents to make but retails for $6, a whopping 900% markup.” I’m not Clueless, I know the movie biz is all about money, but apparently The Color of Money is “movie theater butter yellow”.

The second most offensive thing that can occur during a night out at the movies, besides paying for popcorn, is hearing the conversations of people during the movie itself. When I do go to the movies it is with The Usual Suspects-my best friends, and in our youthful exuberance we will on occasion talk during a movie.  We are aware of the people around us and never speak above a whisper aimed at an ear.  This sentiment has not passed on.

I have had to ask several people in the last few weeks to “please be quiet”. I hate doing this and I shouldn’t have to. You should know to keep your Jaws shut when in a movie theater.  We already have to deal with the White Noise of the popcorn bag and candy wrappers please don’t add your voice to the mix.

I try to go to The Last Picture Show which is usually after midnight. I do this in hopes that there will be less people and definitely no babies. I am often wrong especially on the latter. Parents: if you can’t get a babysitter you don’t go out-period. The last thing I want to deal with at the 12:25am showing of action blockbuster “X” is the incessant cooing or crying of Rosemary’s Baby. 

Also, Dirty Harry, if you are going to the movies and are going to sit next to me please wear deodorant.

I write this because I want my movie going experience, as well as yours, to be A Night to Remember not because of the Inglorious Basterds who keep txting and talking in the movie but because the film itself is The Greatest Show on Earth. I would like to see the return of ushers to keep the peace so that my friends and I don’t have to become The Warriors.

But be warned, the next time you kick the back of my seat There Will Be Blood.

$ingle Parent Father

How much does it cost to read a bedtime story?

If you are a father that no longer lives with your child’s mother-or never have-then you will find out. Even if you have been an integral part of you child’s life since birth you will find out the cost of a hug. The price of a kiss on the forehead rivals the current market price for He-3 and the rise on potty breaks will bankrupt you.

Being a single father is expensive. The costs grow exponentially when the mother of your child decides that you owe her for child support. It matters not how much time you spend with your child. It matters not how much money you spend on your child. All that matters is that you are the father so you must pay. Period.

Is it fair? Is it equal? Is it just? Is it right? No. But that does not matter because it is legal. In the great State of Ohio, as a father you have no rights to your child-literally. If you have acknowledged that you are the biological father of the child you have rights but they equal out to mean that now they know who to bill.

I find it hard to believe that a court or an agency can tell me that I do not have the right to see my child. I submit to the wisdom of Andrew Jackson whom said when the Supreme Court said that it was illegal to force the Cherokee nation from their land: “ [the Supreme Court] has made [its] decision; let [them] enforce it now if [they] can."

One of the questions asked during the support hearing is whether or not the mother is receiving welfare assistance. If she is then you automatically have to pay. If she isn’t it really doesn’t matter because you’re going to be paying for her welfare anyway. What child support boils down to-for the attentive and active father-is state sponsored extortion.

The Child Support Enforcement Agency knows that the system is unfair. They know that it is unjust and severely biased towards mothers. But they don’t care. The CSEA does not care about the welfare of the child only that mothers are taken care of. If they were concerned for the well being of the child, then they would not force men who parent to pay mothers who want a check for checks sake. If they were concerned about the child then they would not allow a situation to occur when the mother has all of the power in the child’s upbringing. It takes two people to have a child but only one to parent and one to pay-apparently.

The system is there to protect children from falling in to squalor as the costs of raising a child are great and many. If that is the case then why does the money go directly to the mother and not towards the things that the child needs? If the child is the focus them why aren’t there vouchers for food, clothes, medical care, etc instead of cash going into the pocket of the mother-who can then use it however she sees fit. Are there regulations to state that the money must be used only for the child? No. Are there any measures that state that the mother must submit receipts to show that the money being collected is being used for the child and not for a gambling habit or drug addiction? No.

The system is broken.

The CSEA does serve a purpose in some cases but not all. The fact that there is a formula that figures out how much it costs to raise a child is ludicrous. It is called a “schedule” and it is broken as well. The best part about the ‘schedule’ is that even if the child’s cost of living decreases-meaning that the child needs less stuff-the support you must pay increases. Nice. The CSEA says it is because you have more money to spend on the child since their costs have decreased. A rational, sane, parent would point and laugh at that conclusion.

--To Be Continued--

Independence Day: An Idea

It seems a simple and inalienable principle, but independence-moreover: freedom-is anything but. The requirements for freedom are intangible, unlike freedom itself: sheer force of will, an inherent desire and the wherewithal to activate the aforementioned. Freedom can be taken and it is rarely given without immeasurable sacrifice which is why it is our most cherished idea.

One of the most powerful forces known to man is the idea. Ideas have shaped the universe as we know it. Ideas have allowed us to dream and forced us in to bondage. That freedom is an inalienable right is an idea. Freedom as an idea has no weight save the collective will of a people to fight to the bowels of their souls for it.

For this reason there is perhaps no greater secular holiday than Independence Day. In the United Sates, we celebrate with one another-all walks of life, all credos, all ethnicities-starring intently into the night sky to see the rockets red glare and bombs bursting in air. That that star spangled banner still waves is testament to the will of the people who salute it and the sacrifices they have laid bare.

This Independence Day, remember the struggles of those less fortunate around the world and the struggles in equal measure of your neighbors who still suffer despite having the freedoms we enjoy. Salute those who protect it with their will, desire and lives. Marvel at the strength of an idea and how it has shaped the world-for better or worse. Cherish the fragility of freedom and always remember that the first verse of the Star Spangled Banner-our National Anthem-ends in a question mark.

Victory is no longer an incentive

Victory is no longer an incentive

Whether it is sad but true remains to be seen-but it is true. For many student athletes victory is no longer an incentive for playing sports in college. Sure they want to win but that is the competitive nature ingrained in every athlete worth their salt. But it seems that it is no longer the driving force behind the decision of many collegiate athletes.

Here’s the question though: is that a bad thing? Take an unbiased look at the life of a typical collegiate athlete. Unless they were bitten by a radioactive spider or drank a cup of Gatorade given to them by a scientist, these athletes were bred from birth to play ball.

A combination of natural ability and relentless practice does not leave time for a typical childhood. Hounded for their abilities from Diaper Dandies Childcare all the way to St. Henry’s of the High Score Prep, the athlete of today is constantly bombarded by pressure to perform. Imagine the amount of pressure that exists on their shoulders; pressure from family and friends, from school administrators and coaches, from strangers and from themselves.

Keep in mind that they’re doing all this for free and that they are children or teenagers or extremely young adults.  Built up to an almost impossible standard, nursed to sleep with dreams of glory and avarice-the modern student athlete is a victim more that a culprit. A harsh but true reality exists for the fans-it is our fault.

Hard to swallow, right? But think about it for just a second. Do we not demand a faster, stronger, more exciting game every year? Do we not pour our adulation over our favorite athletes like Gatorade after the final buzzer? Do we not treat them like the paragons of physicality we would all like to be? Yes. Yes we do. Do we forget that they are human? Yes. Do we forget that they have class, bills, and a life outside of the arena? Yes.

That victory is no longer an incentive is more telling of the humanity inherent to the athletes than any ACL tear could be. Man cannot live on victory alone; though another classic maxim comes to mind: to the victor go the spoils.

Let me be brutally honest: do we care? Do we honestly care that a student athlete is getting kickbacks for being awesome? Do we honestly care that they are selling memorabilia of which they have multiple copies to pay for the things we all need such as rent and gas? Or do we care because it is against the rules? The problem may be acute as we see it now but as more light is shed on the issue it seems to mimic Prohibition more than a few individuals out for themselves.

There has been a debate about whether or not college athletes should be paid. Paying college athletes would seem to be duplicative seeing as how most already receive a free college education which, after 4 years, could equal more than $50,000 depending on the school. Is this enough? Perhaps. How about instead of paying them we just don’t punish them for receiving “luxuries of status”. Discounts-if you will. Giving a poor college kid a discount on a car seems more like charity that the act of a booster. If an exemplary non-student athlete receives the same treatment is that wrong?

The debate on whether student athletes should be paid will rage on and likely fall on the deaf ears of the NCAA. There are equal reasons for and against and stuck in between are the boys and girls in uniform fighting for us on the field. Fighting for victory; but for whom?

Is 65 the new 50? Advertisers missing out on huge consumer bloc

The Greatest Generation, as penned by Tom Brokaw, is one of the largest consumer blocks in the nation and one of the most tech savvy.  As Baby Boomers begin breaking in their golden years their reach economically grows. With that said, why are there so few ads geared towards this age group?

Nursing homes, joint supplements, and heart medication notwithstanding, there are virtually no ads geared towards Baby Boomers. Generation Y, anyone born between roughly 1982 and 1995-otherwise known as “Millennials”, seems to be the target market for advertising agencies nowadays.

Generation Y has become one of, if not the, most technically savvy generations in history. Born around the same time IBM rolled out the first new personal computer, the aptly named PC, this generation has been at the forefront of most technology. They are usually the first to try and buy new technology and are the coveted 18-34 age group that makes advertisers their BFF.

Generation Y may be one of the trendiest generations but they lack the buying power of older generations such as the Baby Boomers. 

According to data compiled by the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, Baby Boomers are comprised of 118 million Americans and in 2010 they spent a whopping $2.9 trillion on consumer goods. By comparison, the 182 million Americans under the age of 50 spent 3.3 trillion.

So, if the Baby Boomers are spending more then why are advertisers not trending their ads towards this lucrative age group? Baby Boomers, like younger generations, are buying new technology such as televisions, computers and automobiles. The latter should be news to the ailing auto industries ears. There is a vastly untapped market for Big Auto to help solve their own financial crisis and possibly even turn a profit. 

Not all manufacturers of automobiles have been too busy Tweeting to notice. Lincoln has hired John Slattery of “Mad Men” fame to tout the technological advances of their new line. These ads seem to be directly geared towards the new and improved senior citizens-some of whom have just Tweeted and updated their Facebook profiles.

Advertising geared towards older generations does not need to be a negative. It also does not need to be the typical old person waiting for a check from Medicaid or conferring with a friend about life insurance. While these things may happen, this generation of seniors is still very active. Those who have the luxury of retiring in a recession are not doing so lying down and most Boomers are still active in the workforce and plan on working until they are physically unable.

The reason for Boomers remaining in the workforce can be varied and are subjective to the individual. One main cause is that Baby Boomers were not likely to save for retirement during their respective youth. Most Boomers do not have enough in their 401k or were relying on Pension funds to allow them to coast through financially. After the recession hit, most have had to use those funds to stay afloat-those that had them.

While Baby Boomers may not be as financially well off as they would like, most of them are still able to afford some of the nicer things in life. Having tenure in certain careers allows them to stay on top as the dominant consumer group in America.

By becoming all but unionized with the help of the AARP-American Association of Retired Persons-helps keep Baby Boomers in a position of relevance and power on a national scale.  Once advertising agencies tap into this market, the Greatest Generation may help us, yet again, by solving our financial woes. 

Bullies, Bullies Everywhere...!

Did I miss something? Are bullies of the world uniting and becoming unionized? Is there some fresh pandemic of bullying or have we gone soft(er) as a nation?

Somewhere George Carlin is rolling over and cussing in his grave.

I just saw a commercial for ECOT-which is an online school whose main draw, it seems, is to be free of bullying. The commercial mentioned nothing of the schools merits other than it is online and children can go to school from the safety and comfort of their own homes.

Why is this option available? I know home schooling has been around forever, not as a necessary safe haven from bullies but as an option for parents to school their children as they see fit. The fact that online schools are touting their safety as one of chief selling points is reprehensible.

Bullying is not new. There were bullies when I was in school and we knew how to deal with them. You hold your ground-as best you can. Dealing with bullies makes you wise and street smart. It makes you tough. We need more tough kids.

We have all heard the reasons for bullies: not loved enough at home…or too much, family history of violence, being a jerk. None of these reasons justify the existence of bullies yet they do exist.

So who is to blame? The school administrators? Teachers? Parents? Well, to put it simply: yes. It is also the fault of the lily-livered kids that allow themselves to be bullied.

I’m not insensitive. I’ve been bullied before so I know what I’m talking about. And these weren’t 1950’s era greasers; I’m talking about kids with guns and bravado to prove. Growing up in the crucible of gang violence made me a tougher, smarter kid than I would have ever been being sheltered in a home school environment.

When I was in school, teachers were tougher than kids. Teachers were not afraid of being sued by parents for disciplining their students. They had the wherewithal to do the right thing.  We need a better class of teacher. We need Joe Clark.

I was lucky to go to a school with several Joe Clarks: Mrs. Bosley was not afraid. Mr. Paige was not afraid. These administrators would walk with us home through gang infested streets to make sure their students had the best chance at a great education. It was empowering knowing that Mrs. Bosely and Mr. Paige had our backs. It made us stronger and it allowed us to stand up as individuals knowing we had a support system behind us.

We also need a better breed of parent. I have a daughter and I know for a fact that she will have to deal with bullies. I will prepare her for such an eventuality. I will also be damned if she herself turns into a bully. There are some parents who, upon finding out their child is a bully, applaud the fact and celebrate their child’s accomplishments. That is their prerogative. They should know that their time will soon be at hand.

The truth is: the world needs bullies. It’s a sad fact but bullies make us tough. They prepare us for the harsh reality of the real world. I feel sorry for those who haven’t been bullied at some point for the real world will not be kind to them.

School is a microcosm of the actualities that await us all. It is a social experiment that molds us into the person we are going to be for the rest of our lives. Do not shelter your children from bullies as you would not shelter them from the realities of the real world. Prepare them, educate them or consider them stillborn upon their 18th birthday. 

Frog Soup: Global Warming equals Waterworld

The sky is falling! Wolf! Fire! Help!

No, seriously, the sky is falling. It may seem like rain or snow, but this is the beginning of the end. Those who expected the end to come swiftly, I am sorry to tell you that it is coming slowly and surely-like a cold front. Much like a weather pattern, this was forecasted by scientists and tree-huggers alike, the end of life as we know it will come drop by drop.

A frog on a hot plate has been an apt metaphor for humanity’s response to global warming. Even though the frog dies at the end of that particular parable, no measures have been taken to see to it that we do not share the same fate. Why is that?

It seems to me that we should be doing something. Well, we are. We are debating whether or not global warming is a fact that should be viewed as an imminent threat or a trend that comes as a result of the Earth doing its thing. Though either way we are doomed to tread water until the next ice age reclaims the additional water in the atmosphere.

What additional water? Well check out the headlines from the last few days:

CNN: “Soggy SoCal facing even more rain, flooding, forecasters say”-12/22/10

BBC: “BAA boss refuses bonus over snow”- 12/22/10

NY Times: “Ill Prepared for Snowfall, Britain Crawls to a Halt”-12/20/10

Now this is just recent news, there have been stories of record weather all around the world throughout the past decade. Is it possible that this is normal when records are being broken? Records that have stood for over 100 years are being shattered by the amounts of precipitation we have received in the past few years and we are supposed to believe that this is a normal trend.

There is evidence that the amount of CO₂ is the atmosphere is higher than it has ever been which is causing greenhouse gasses to be trapped, thus heating the Earth, causing the ice caps to melt and introducing more water into the atmosphere. This isn’t voodoo-it is actual measurable science and it is being batted away like the fevered daydream of a child with an over active imagination.

I thought that once capital was affected by this turn of events, we would see some sweeping changes to ensure that corporations the world over stayed in the black.  What did we get: Toyota Prius. Nice. Fossil fuel dependence is the bane of human existence. I will put it on the same level as terrorism. What the Prius and “solutions” of its ilk have done is extend the usage of fossil fuels beyond the foreseeable horizon.  This is akin to tying on more fuse to delay the inevitable explosion instead of cutting the fuse.

Are the changes that would be required to stem the tide to severe that global flooding is a better alternative? What do we need to do: stop burning fossil fuels, recycle more, plant trees-basically respect our planet. Is this too high a cost? Has personal freedom cost us a place to live? It seems so.

There is money to be made in green technology. The Soot Mongers would like to keep things as they are-shame on them. Change is the only constant and we know why we need to change from our ways. That they are lobbying against this change means that they are lobbying against our future. Meanwhile the heat is on. Ribbit. 

Give me compromise or give me death!

The recent round of slap fighting on the Hill is cause for serious alarm. That our elected officials cannot agree on a compromise is down right embarrassing. What’s worse is that even though the White House and the media have thrown around words like “hostage” when referring to the American people, no one from either side has come out to refute that claim. When members of Congress refer to each other as terrorists, like Sen. Chuck Schumer has, then we have a very serious problem.

Is this why a Bi-cameral party system is doomed? I say “bi-cameral” not referring to the chambers of Congress but to the dualism that is the Republican and Democratic parties. These two parties are making laws that our nation cannot survive. Their laws are those of favoritism or cronyism-however you want to put it. Either way the American people are the ones that are left out.

It reminds me of the play ground during recess in elementary school. It’s the day of the big kickball game and sides have been chosen: Republicans on one side, Democrats on the other. The winner gets to pick out the book that’s read before nap time. There are two choices: How the Grinches Literally Stole Christmas or Rudolph the Red Nosed Budget. Neither one has a happy ending.

The blame, of course, rests with the Commander-In-Chief. Though despite reaching a compromise he was tarred and feathered by the Democratic Party for kowtowing to the Republicans; says Rep. Anthony Weiner of New York (D), “I don't think he sold us out. I just don't think he made a very good deal.”

What’s a president to do? Are we still caught up in the cowboy politics that cleared brush in the Bush Era? Have we become so comfortable with bullying the United States Congress with wars and economic crisis that the only way we can respond to proper legislation and the hint of bi-partisanship is if the fate of the US depends on it? The question is: when does the fate of the U.S. not depend on it? 

Graduation

To graduate is a subtle thing. Despite the Pomp and Circumstance, dress shoes and gathering of family and friends, the act is as simple as a handshake and a smile. Just as history lasts the blink of an eye and the future stretches on in interminable fashion, so will end my and several hundred other Buckeyes' tenures at The Ohio State University when we graduate at the end of the quarter.

It is an odd feeling graduating from such a large university. My high school graduating class consisted of fewer than 80 people, all of whom knew each other. The likelihood that I will know the person on either side of me at Autumn Commencement is virtually nil. Although we might not know each other by name, we share a common intrinsic bond: our love for this great institution.

Our majors vary, as do our experiences, but we all share a few of the same memories.

The first memory is the best, as it is the sound of the mail being delivered a few days before high school graduation. You know the sound. I am sure you remember your hands shaking as you held an envelope that read: The Ohio State University. Your heart is in your throat, beating a million beats per second as you realize that your hopes and dreams of being a Buckeye rest within the confines of this unnervingly thin envelope. You look at your parents, who are just as nervous as you — though they'll never tell you that. They say, "Well, are you going to open it or what?" You open it and tentatively unfold a single piece of paper and see only one word before bursting into a fit of joy. The word: "Congratulations!"

I haven't jumped that high before or since.

It is a feeling only a Buckeye can know. It is a feeling of immediate belonging to a family of thousands and an induction into a rich and storied history of academic excellence. It immediately makes your once unseemly hatred of "that state up north" justified — not that it needs to be.

The memory of 7:30 a.m. Winter Quarter classes is something I will truly miss. There is something serenely beautiful about this campus in the winter when the snow is gently falling at 7:36 a.m., while you're running to class — only to find it has been canceled. Oh, the memories!

Our experiences vary, but the mutual experience of dominating Michigan is one we can all brag about. I mean, honestly, it's like they're not even trying anymore, not that it would matter. Seeing the Buckeyes storm the field and feeling the ‘Shoe pulse as The White Stripes' perfect bass groove infects 105,000 people is an experience I hope you can enjoy as a student.

There is one final experience we will all share. After sitting through commencement with a mix of boredom, excitement and nervousness, it will happen. The Best Damn Band In The Land will play the opening chords of "Carmen Ohio," and a lump will form in your throat.

Terrorism does nothing for anyone

Terrorism: What is it good for? Absolutely nothing. Terrorism I despise because it means destruction of innocent lives. It ain't nothing but a heartbreaker, friend only to the undertaker. It is an enemy to all mankind. The point of terrorism blows my mind.

Edwin Starr's classic song "War" is a fitting soundtrack to the war on terror. Terrorism of any scale is reprehensible. Be it al-Qaeda's global reach or a bomb threat called in to Ohio State's campus, terrorism epitomizes the absolute worst of humanity.

While standing feet away from the Franklin County Sherriff's Office Bomb Squad truck during the campus bomb threat last Tuesday — like the genius I am — it never occurred to me that the threat was anything more than a student's ploy to skip a midterm exam. Luckily, the thought occurred to the myriad emergency services and public safety agencies that descended on campus that day, and my hat (gloves, scarf and coat) is off to them for the wonderful job they did to keep us safe and informed.

The goal of terrorism seems to be to destabilize and to induce — wait for it — terror. But to what ends? What cause does it help? I know there are groups that do not agree with how society is progressing, but is blowing people up really they way to redress these grievances? We can plead terrorists not to target innocent lives, but to those who see normalcy as the enemy, no one is innocent.

We know terrorists aim to inflict the maximum amount of carnage and grief using weapons strapped to people or sealed in an envelope. We know they find immeasurable joy in the immeasurable suffering of others. We know they are planning something else at all hours of the day. What we don't know is who they are.

But we do know what we would like to do with them when we find them, right?

Trying them in court is not what I had in mind, but it seems to be the humane thing to do. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has defended the use of U.S. civilian courts to prosecute terror suspects held in Guantanamo Bay. I think that is one of the worst ideas I've ever heard. What is the benefit of trying terrorists? Do ordinary citizens around the world get trial by jury before some moron decides to blow them up? And if they're found to be innocent, do you really think they're going to go back home and forget the luxury accommodations and spa treatment they received at Guantanamo Bay?

What is the going rate for a human life nowadays? Ten, 20 or even 30 years in prison? A bargain by any stripe. A prison sentence in and of itself is a slap in the face to justice. But I guess it is the humane thing to do, since humanity is the terrorists' main concern.

Perhaps terrorism is something larger that I just cannot wrap my head around. Maybe I'm missing the link between terrorism and the reduction of carbon dioxide emissions. It's possible. Or maybe terrorism is just the worst: a cancer that historians in the future will look upon as a curable ailment and not a terminal disease. I'll say it again y'all — Terrorism — what is it good for? Absolutely nothing.

GOP = Theocracy?

A long time ago, in a republic far, far away… It is a dark time for the Democrats. Although Democrats retain the majority in the Senate, conservative Republicans have driven Democratic candidates from their seats in the U.S. House of Representatives and pursue those still in office with zealous fervor.

Yes — "The Empire Strikes Back" — there is no more fitting description of the times today, as the politics of division and hate have settled into power across the nation. I preferred "A New Hope" back in 2008, when there was a chance we could move forward as a nation and a species. Now I fear we will regress in both capacities, though our military spending will go through the roof like a Bunker Buster bomb.

What I have learned is that conservative Republican politics are good only for conservative Republicans who deem themselves the saviors of the nation.

Reading a list of conservative values is like reading the Ten Commandments. Even if you don't subscribe to the Judeo-Christian religion, you can agree that some of the commandments are just fundamentally sound: Don't kill, steal, commit adultery, lie.

The problem as I see it is that conservative values seem to stem from the will of God, and those who oppose it are sinful children who need the guidance and protection of the Republican Party. Though it contains some good ideas, the conservative ideology is too close to religious law for comfort.

According to the Wikipedia-like website Conservapedia, "conservative values are useful and powerful in combating common human weaknesses: Lust, Laziness, Jealousy, Gluttony, Pride, Conflict, Corruption." The list is strikingly similar to the seven deadly sins, as listed by the Catholic Church. My objection is this: Lust is where babies come from, and jealousy, gluttony, pride, conflict and corruption describe every political candidate — even Republicans.

In a country that espouses freedom of religion and separation of church and state, how can we adhere to the theocracy of conservative Republican politics?

Conservative Republicans claim that the liberal elite (read: Democrats) think they know what's best for America because they're college-educated and thus have an air of mental superiority. So, we don't want the smartest people making decisions? Also, I know college-educated conservative Republicans, so does that make them the conservative elite?

The Republican agenda is what really draws my ire. The main issue is that Republicans want to cut taxes and make America more fiscally responsible by reducing spending. Well, how can we cut taxes and pay back our debt at the same time? How can we cut taxes and reduce spending while still providing unemployment and medical assistance for the millions of Americans who have been displaced because their jobs were shipped overseas?

What does being fiscally responsible really mean? Spend only what you have earned? The American economy is built on borrowing and repaying. Borrowing and repaying is how we started this nation. Consider this: If America is to be truly independent, then the citizens must pay for the upkeep of the republic. We call it taxes.

The empire has struck in the 2010 midterm elections, and we will see the nation become even more divided than ever. It is my hope that in the 2012 elections, we will be witness to "The Return of the Jedi."

Vote for the best, not the loudest.

As of now, I understand the current political landscape as this: If we vote Democrat, then socialist zombies are going to eat the Constitution, and our guns, then vomit Bible-eating stem cells paid for by Obamacare while al-Qaeda uses the six white stripes of the American flag for toilet paper.

If we vote Republican, then the fat cats on Wall Street will use your parents' retirement funds to buy gas for joyrides. Then they'll shoot at the middle class from helicopters made entirely out of bones from deceased fauna from the Gulf Coast oil spill.

If none of that made any sense but somehow sounds right, then welcome to the 2010 midterm election — an election that has become less about what candidates can do for our country than what they have already done to it. Who are we to vote for if each vote brings us closer to the apocalypse?

Furthermore, why do we want these sycophantic cretins running our government? On a list of current candidates' accomplishments, the term "acceptable" is highlighted as if it is an accolade worth mentioning. How many candidates claim that they have "protected our families and communities?" From what, aliens? Crime in Ohio is appalling, and the unemployment rate is almost 10 percent. If we are being protected from anything, it's progress and prosperity.

Not one party — Green, Tea, Libertarian, Constitution, Democratic or Republican — has a viable solution to the ails of our nation. Candidates claim they are going to do what is best for our communities, but what is that exactly? How can they fix a nation that is divided now more than ever? They claim that if their party has control of Congress then they can fix the problems.

The blame game has reached epic proportions. Each party is blaming the other for the state of affairs, and neither side has the temerity to own up to its failures. It is as if Congress has turned into feral tribes bent on domination while the American people are left helpless — choosing sides for the glimmer of protection offered by safety in numbers. Each party claims to have the goal of national prosperity, though I have yet to see an olive branch through the rain of arrows.

Is it audacious to hope for a Congress that puts aside partisanship for the promise of a better tomorrow for all Americans? It's an audacity President Barack Obama rallied for during his campaign, a president who promised to air out the Capitol and usher in a new era in American politics, a president whose tenure history will show smacks of Special Forces work — you only hear about the failures.

My fellow Buckeyes: Do not be dismayed. If you are a freshman undergraduate or doctorate student looking for hope and change or to find your lost country, then look in the mirror. It has become apparent that our leaders have failed us. If we wish to stem the tide of our destruction then we must act and act now.

Go to the polls Tuesday and vote for the best person to do the job, regardless of party affiliation. Vote for the chance of a better future.

What happened to the nickname?

Question: What happened to the nickname? Here we sit atop an embarrassment of riches — the university with the most collegiate sports in all the NCAA — and all we have to show for it is Daniel "Boom" Herron. Come on. We can do better.

Is Chris Berman of ESPN fame the only one who can come up with a good nickname? He is talented, don't get me wrong: Mike "you're in-good-hands-with" Alstott, Albert "Winnie the" Pujols, Jose "can you see" Canseco, and my favorite, Scott "Supercalifragilisticexpiali" Brosius. But surely we can come up with some for our athletes.

Take the football team for example. Dozens of talented young men with only one recognized nickname among the lot: "Boom." Tsk tsk tsk. We have an other-worldly receiver named Dane Sanzenbacher — are you kidding me? "The Catchinator" Dane "Stickum" Sanzenbacher!

Another receiver so good the Badgers put two guys on him: "DeVious" DeVier Posey. How about Cameron "Hide you're quarterbacks, hide your running backs and hide your coaches too because he's tackling everyone out here" Heyward? It's long, but he's a big guy. It would fit on his jersey.

Other ideas include: Jake "Rolling" Stoneburner, Andrew Sweat "The Technique," Tyler "Respawning in 3 … 2 … 1" Moeller and "Oh S---! It's:" Brian Rolle. You get the idea. They don't all have to be Bermanisms but something unique that highlights our athlete's abilities.

We have stellar athletes in other sports, too. Gymnast Brandon "For the" Wynn is about to begin competition with the U.S. National Team at the 2010 World Artistic Championships. OSU Women's Volleyball star Kelli "Sets the" Barhorst was just named Big Ten Player of the Week.

Nicknames are morale boosters. You hear the deafening "BOOOOOM" in the ‘Shoe when Herron breaks a big one. When the team travels, and announcers have to point out that "they're not booing, folks," that is a staple of the Buckeye nation. We need more of that.

I believe merit is a hallmark of a good nickname. But if that's the case, why does Archie "too-damn-fast-for-a-nickname" Griffin not have one? If any player in college football history should have a nickname, it's the only two-time Heisman trophy winner. Eddie George, Troy Smith, Terry Glenn, Chris Spielman — where are their nicknames?

We have the talent and the opportunity, so let's be creative and give our players in all sports good, wholesome nicknames that will last generations and show that we really are the best damn fans in the land.