Oh Holy Tooth

On a seasonably warm Christmas Eve morning  seeing a full parking lot would not be an interesting sight as this the crunch time for last minute shoppers. Though at 7:30 am, seeing  the parking lot in front of the Comfort Dental  at 4693 Morse Rd stuffed like a Dickensian Christmas goose is worthy of a raised eyebrow. 

The good folks at Comfort Dental were up this morning, not making sure that the stockings were hung by the chimney with care but rather giving the gift of free dental service. Since 1984, Comfort Dental has been performing free simple dental services for those in need during their “Care Day” on Christmas Eve.

For the last 20 years Dr. Larry Gamby DDS shares in this labor of love and holiday spirit with his staff. He says, “Care Day was provided to help everyone to be able to get dental care...” Dr. Gamby and his staff perform simple procedures such as cleanings, fillings and the occasional extraction for free for those with and without insurance.

Says Dr. Gamby, “There are patients here who have insurance and there’s people who have literally nothing.” A waiting room full of those in need of basic dental care-on Christmas Eve mind you-when asked if they had dental insurance, out of 25 people only 2 hands were raised. A sobering reminder of the state of health care in central Ohio and across the U.S.; many American are still uninsured and have to trek to places like Comfort Dental on Care Day to get the services they need. “This is something we love to do.” says Dr. Gamby of his staff’s commitment  to providing free dental care on this Christmas Eve morning.

Dr. Gamby(far left top row) and his staff on Care Day

While Congress and pundits bicker back and forth about the merits of universal health care, it is a wonderful feeling knowing that even those without insurance can receive the care they need. The gift that Comfort Dental gives each year goes beyond the hope of receiving free dental care. It is the gift of knowing that there are people that do care about the welfare of their neighbors and this Christmas Eve, many across central Ohio will be receiving the gift a new smile-minus a tooth or two. 

An open letter to the movie going public

I consider myself a Die Hard movie patron, I hope you are Die Hard 2, and I have noticed a Clear and Present Danger in the movie viewing experience.

There seems to be no Sense and Sensibility to the thought processes of my fellow movie goers and the theaters themselves. I have been to the movies in the last month almost as many times as I’ve been to class and I have noticed a general lack of common sense and civility. 

First of all I paid My Left Foot just to get in the door and For a Few Dollars More I might be able to eat.

This is another issue I have with going to the movies.  Price of concessions has gone From Here to Eternity.  An article on CNNMoney.com states that “A medium bag of popcorn costs just 60 cents to make but retails for $6, a whopping 900% markup.” I’m not Clueless, I know the movie biz is all about money, but apparently The Color of Money is “movie theater butter yellow”.

The second most offensive thing that can occur during a night out at the movies, besides paying for popcorn, is hearing the conversations of people during the movie itself. When I do go to the movies it is with The Usual Suspects-my best friends, and in our youthful exuberance we will on occasion talk during a movie.  We are aware of the people around us and never speak above a whisper aimed at an ear.  This sentiment has not passed on.

I have had to ask several people in the last few weeks to “please be quiet”. I hate doing this and I shouldn’t have to. You should know to keep your Jaws shut when in a movie theater.  We already have to deal with the White Noise of the popcorn bag and candy wrappers please don’t add your voice to the mix.

I try to go to The Last Picture Show which is usually after midnight. I do this in hopes that there will be less people and definitely no babies. I am often wrong especially on the latter. Parents: if you can’t get a babysitter you don’t go out-period. The last thing I want to deal with at the 12:25am showing of action blockbuster “X” is the incessant cooing or crying of Rosemary’s Baby. 

Also, Dirty Harry, if you are going to the movies and are going to sit next to me please wear deodorant.

I write this because I want my movie going experience, as well as yours, to be A Night to Remember not because of the Inglorious Basterds who keep txting and talking in the movie but because the film itself is The Greatest Show on Earth. I would like to see the return of ushers to keep the peace so that my friends and I don’t have to become The Warriors.

But be warned, the next time you kick the back of my seat There Will Be Blood.

$ingle Parent Father

How much does it cost to read a bedtime story?

If you are a father that no longer lives with your child’s mother-or never have-then you will find out. Even if you have been an integral part of you child’s life since birth you will find out the cost of a hug. The price of a kiss on the forehead rivals the current market price for He-3 and the rise on potty breaks will bankrupt you.

Being a single father is expensive. The costs grow exponentially when the mother of your child decides that you owe her for child support. It matters not how much time you spend with your child. It matters not how much money you spend on your child. All that matters is that you are the father so you must pay. Period.

Is it fair? Is it equal? Is it just? Is it right? No. But that does not matter because it is legal. In the great State of Ohio, as a father you have no rights to your child-literally. If you have acknowledged that you are the biological father of the child you have rights but they equal out to mean that now they know who to bill.

I find it hard to believe that a court or an agency can tell me that I do not have the right to see my child. I submit to the wisdom of Andrew Jackson whom said when the Supreme Court said that it was illegal to force the Cherokee nation from their land: “ [the Supreme Court] has made [its] decision; let [them] enforce it now if [they] can."

One of the questions asked during the support hearing is whether or not the mother is receiving welfare assistance. If she is then you automatically have to pay. If she isn’t it really doesn’t matter because you’re going to be paying for her welfare anyway. What child support boils down to-for the attentive and active father-is state sponsored extortion.

The Child Support Enforcement Agency knows that the system is unfair. They know that it is unjust and severely biased towards mothers. But they don’t care. The CSEA does not care about the welfare of the child only that mothers are taken care of. If they were concerned for the well being of the child, then they would not force men who parent to pay mothers who want a check for checks sake. If they were concerned about the child then they would not allow a situation to occur when the mother has all of the power in the child’s upbringing. It takes two people to have a child but only one to parent and one to pay-apparently.

The system is there to protect children from falling in to squalor as the costs of raising a child are great and many. If that is the case then why does the money go directly to the mother and not towards the things that the child needs? If the child is the focus them why aren’t there vouchers for food, clothes, medical care, etc instead of cash going into the pocket of the mother-who can then use it however she sees fit. Are there regulations to state that the money must be used only for the child? No. Are there any measures that state that the mother must submit receipts to show that the money being collected is being used for the child and not for a gambling habit or drug addiction? No.

The system is broken.

The CSEA does serve a purpose in some cases but not all. The fact that there is a formula that figures out how much it costs to raise a child is ludicrous. It is called a “schedule” and it is broken as well. The best part about the ‘schedule’ is that even if the child’s cost of living decreases-meaning that the child needs less stuff-the support you must pay increases. Nice. The CSEA says it is because you have more money to spend on the child since their costs have decreased. A rational, sane, parent would point and laugh at that conclusion.

--To Be Continued--

Independence Day: An Idea

It seems a simple and inalienable principle, but independence-moreover: freedom-is anything but. The requirements for freedom are intangible, unlike freedom itself: sheer force of will, an inherent desire and the wherewithal to activate the aforementioned. Freedom can be taken and it is rarely given without immeasurable sacrifice which is why it is our most cherished idea.

One of the most powerful forces known to man is the idea. Ideas have shaped the universe as we know it. Ideas have allowed us to dream and forced us in to bondage. That freedom is an inalienable right is an idea. Freedom as an idea has no weight save the collective will of a people to fight to the bowels of their souls for it.

For this reason there is perhaps no greater secular holiday than Independence Day. In the United Sates, we celebrate with one another-all walks of life, all credos, all ethnicities-starring intently into the night sky to see the rockets red glare and bombs bursting in air. That that star spangled banner still waves is testament to the will of the people who salute it and the sacrifices they have laid bare.

This Independence Day, remember the struggles of those less fortunate around the world and the struggles in equal measure of your neighbors who still suffer despite having the freedoms we enjoy. Salute those who protect it with their will, desire and lives. Marvel at the strength of an idea and how it has shaped the world-for better or worse. Cherish the fragility of freedom and always remember that the first verse of the Star Spangled Banner-our National Anthem-ends in a question mark.

Victory is no longer an incentive

Victory is no longer an incentive

Whether it is sad but true remains to be seen-but it is true. For many student athletes victory is no longer an incentive for playing sports in college. Sure they want to win but that is the competitive nature ingrained in every athlete worth their salt. But it seems that it is no longer the driving force behind the decision of many collegiate athletes.

Here’s the question though: is that a bad thing? Take an unbiased look at the life of a typical collegiate athlete. Unless they were bitten by a radioactive spider or drank a cup of Gatorade given to them by a scientist, these athletes were bred from birth to play ball.

A combination of natural ability and relentless practice does not leave time for a typical childhood. Hounded for their abilities from Diaper Dandies Childcare all the way to St. Henry’s of the High Score Prep, the athlete of today is constantly bombarded by pressure to perform. Imagine the amount of pressure that exists on their shoulders; pressure from family and friends, from school administrators and coaches, from strangers and from themselves.

Keep in mind that they’re doing all this for free and that they are children or teenagers or extremely young adults.  Built up to an almost impossible standard, nursed to sleep with dreams of glory and avarice-the modern student athlete is a victim more that a culprit. A harsh but true reality exists for the fans-it is our fault.

Hard to swallow, right? But think about it for just a second. Do we not demand a faster, stronger, more exciting game every year? Do we not pour our adulation over our favorite athletes like Gatorade after the final buzzer? Do we not treat them like the paragons of physicality we would all like to be? Yes. Yes we do. Do we forget that they are human? Yes. Do we forget that they have class, bills, and a life outside of the arena? Yes.

That victory is no longer an incentive is more telling of the humanity inherent to the athletes than any ACL tear could be. Man cannot live on victory alone; though another classic maxim comes to mind: to the victor go the spoils.

Let me be brutally honest: do we care? Do we honestly care that a student athlete is getting kickbacks for being awesome? Do we honestly care that they are selling memorabilia of which they have multiple copies to pay for the things we all need such as rent and gas? Or do we care because it is against the rules? The problem may be acute as we see it now but as more light is shed on the issue it seems to mimic Prohibition more than a few individuals out for themselves.

There has been a debate about whether or not college athletes should be paid. Paying college athletes would seem to be duplicative seeing as how most already receive a free college education which, after 4 years, could equal more than $50,000 depending on the school. Is this enough? Perhaps. How about instead of paying them we just don’t punish them for receiving “luxuries of status”. Discounts-if you will. Giving a poor college kid a discount on a car seems more like charity that the act of a booster. If an exemplary non-student athlete receives the same treatment is that wrong?

The debate on whether student athletes should be paid will rage on and likely fall on the deaf ears of the NCAA. There are equal reasons for and against and stuck in between are the boys and girls in uniform fighting for us on the field. Fighting for victory; but for whom?

Is 65 the new 50? Advertisers missing out on huge consumer bloc

The Greatest Generation, as penned by Tom Brokaw, is one of the largest consumer blocks in the nation and one of the most tech savvy.  As Baby Boomers begin breaking in their golden years their reach economically grows. With that said, why are there so few ads geared towards this age group?

Nursing homes, joint supplements, and heart medication notwithstanding, there are virtually no ads geared towards Baby Boomers. Generation Y, anyone born between roughly 1982 and 1995-otherwise known as “Millennials”, seems to be the target market for advertising agencies nowadays.

Generation Y has become one of, if not the, most technically savvy generations in history. Born around the same time IBM rolled out the first new personal computer, the aptly named PC, this generation has been at the forefront of most technology. They are usually the first to try and buy new technology and are the coveted 18-34 age group that makes advertisers their BFF.

Generation Y may be one of the trendiest generations but they lack the buying power of older generations such as the Baby Boomers. 

According to data compiled by the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, Baby Boomers are comprised of 118 million Americans and in 2010 they spent a whopping $2.9 trillion on consumer goods. By comparison, the 182 million Americans under the age of 50 spent 3.3 trillion.

So, if the Baby Boomers are spending more then why are advertisers not trending their ads towards this lucrative age group? Baby Boomers, like younger generations, are buying new technology such as televisions, computers and automobiles. The latter should be news to the ailing auto industries ears. There is a vastly untapped market for Big Auto to help solve their own financial crisis and possibly even turn a profit. 

Not all manufacturers of automobiles have been too busy Tweeting to notice. Lincoln has hired John Slattery of “Mad Men” fame to tout the technological advances of their new line. These ads seem to be directly geared towards the new and improved senior citizens-some of whom have just Tweeted and updated their Facebook profiles.

Advertising geared towards older generations does not need to be a negative. It also does not need to be the typical old person waiting for a check from Medicaid or conferring with a friend about life insurance. While these things may happen, this generation of seniors is still very active. Those who have the luxury of retiring in a recession are not doing so lying down and most Boomers are still active in the workforce and plan on working until they are physically unable.

The reason for Boomers remaining in the workforce can be varied and are subjective to the individual. One main cause is that Baby Boomers were not likely to save for retirement during their respective youth. Most Boomers do not have enough in their 401k or were relying on Pension funds to allow them to coast through financially. After the recession hit, most have had to use those funds to stay afloat-those that had them.

While Baby Boomers may not be as financially well off as they would like, most of them are still able to afford some of the nicer things in life. Having tenure in certain careers allows them to stay on top as the dominant consumer group in America.

By becoming all but unionized with the help of the AARP-American Association of Retired Persons-helps keep Baby Boomers in a position of relevance and power on a national scale.  Once advertising agencies tap into this market, the Greatest Generation may help us, yet again, by solving our financial woes. 

Bullies, Bullies Everywhere...!

Did I miss something? Are bullies of the world uniting and becoming unionized? Is there some fresh pandemic of bullying or have we gone soft(er) as a nation?

Somewhere George Carlin is rolling over and cussing in his grave.

I just saw a commercial for ECOT-which is an online school whose main draw, it seems, is to be free of bullying. The commercial mentioned nothing of the schools merits other than it is online and children can go to school from the safety and comfort of their own homes.

Why is this option available? I know home schooling has been around forever, not as a necessary safe haven from bullies but as an option for parents to school their children as they see fit. The fact that online schools are touting their safety as one of chief selling points is reprehensible.

Bullying is not new. There were bullies when I was in school and we knew how to deal with them. You hold your ground-as best you can. Dealing with bullies makes you wise and street smart. It makes you tough. We need more tough kids.

We have all heard the reasons for bullies: not loved enough at home…or too much, family history of violence, being a jerk. None of these reasons justify the existence of bullies yet they do exist.

So who is to blame? The school administrators? Teachers? Parents? Well, to put it simply: yes. It is also the fault of the lily-livered kids that allow themselves to be bullied.

I’m not insensitive. I’ve been bullied before so I know what I’m talking about. And these weren’t 1950’s era greasers; I’m talking about kids with guns and bravado to prove. Growing up in the crucible of gang violence made me a tougher, smarter kid than I would have ever been being sheltered in a home school environment.

When I was in school, teachers were tougher than kids. Teachers were not afraid of being sued by parents for disciplining their students. They had the wherewithal to do the right thing.  We need a better class of teacher. We need Joe Clark.

I was lucky to go to a school with several Joe Clarks: Mrs. Bosley was not afraid. Mr. Paige was not afraid. These administrators would walk with us home through gang infested streets to make sure their students had the best chance at a great education. It was empowering knowing that Mrs. Bosely and Mr. Paige had our backs. It made us stronger and it allowed us to stand up as individuals knowing we had a support system behind us.

We also need a better breed of parent. I have a daughter and I know for a fact that she will have to deal with bullies. I will prepare her for such an eventuality. I will also be damned if she herself turns into a bully. There are some parents who, upon finding out their child is a bully, applaud the fact and celebrate their child’s accomplishments. That is their prerogative. They should know that their time will soon be at hand.

The truth is: the world needs bullies. It’s a sad fact but bullies make us tough. They prepare us for the harsh reality of the real world. I feel sorry for those who haven’t been bullied at some point for the real world will not be kind to them.

School is a microcosm of the actualities that await us all. It is a social experiment that molds us into the person we are going to be for the rest of our lives. Do not shelter your children from bullies as you would not shelter them from the realities of the real world. Prepare them, educate them or consider them stillborn upon their 18th birthday.