Frog Soup: Global Warming equals Waterworld

The sky is falling! Wolf! Fire! Help!

No, seriously, the sky is falling. It may seem like rain or snow, but this is the beginning of the end. Those who expected the end to come swiftly, I am sorry to tell you that it is coming slowly and surely-like a cold front. Much like a weather pattern, this was forecasted by scientists and tree-huggers alike, the end of life as we know it will come drop by drop.

A frog on a hot plate has been an apt metaphor for humanity’s response to global warming. Even though the frog dies at the end of that particular parable, no measures have been taken to see to it that we do not share the same fate. Why is that?

It seems to me that we should be doing something. Well, we are. We are debating whether or not global warming is a fact that should be viewed as an imminent threat or a trend that comes as a result of the Earth doing its thing. Though either way we are doomed to tread water until the next ice age reclaims the additional water in the atmosphere.

What additional water? Well check out the headlines from the last few days:

CNN: “Soggy SoCal facing even more rain, flooding, forecasters say”-12/22/10

BBC: “BAA boss refuses bonus over snow”- 12/22/10

NY Times: “Ill Prepared for Snowfall, Britain Crawls to a Halt”-12/20/10

Now this is just recent news, there have been stories of record weather all around the world throughout the past decade. Is it possible that this is normal when records are being broken? Records that have stood for over 100 years are being shattered by the amounts of precipitation we have received in the past few years and we are supposed to believe that this is a normal trend.

There is evidence that the amount of CO₂ is the atmosphere is higher than it has ever been which is causing greenhouse gasses to be trapped, thus heating the Earth, causing the ice caps to melt and introducing more water into the atmosphere. This isn’t voodoo-it is actual measurable science and it is being batted away like the fevered daydream of a child with an over active imagination.

I thought that once capital was affected by this turn of events, we would see some sweeping changes to ensure that corporations the world over stayed in the black.  What did we get: Toyota Prius. Nice. Fossil fuel dependence is the bane of human existence. I will put it on the same level as terrorism. What the Prius and “solutions” of its ilk have done is extend the usage of fossil fuels beyond the foreseeable horizon.  This is akin to tying on more fuse to delay the inevitable explosion instead of cutting the fuse.

Are the changes that would be required to stem the tide to severe that global flooding is a better alternative? What do we need to do: stop burning fossil fuels, recycle more, plant trees-basically respect our planet. Is this too high a cost? Has personal freedom cost us a place to live? It seems so.

There is money to be made in green technology. The Soot Mongers would like to keep things as they are-shame on them. Change is the only constant and we know why we need to change from our ways. That they are lobbying against this change means that they are lobbying against our future. Meanwhile the heat is on. Ribbit. 

Give me compromise or give me death!

The recent round of slap fighting on the Hill is cause for serious alarm. That our elected officials cannot agree on a compromise is down right embarrassing. What’s worse is that even though the White House and the media have thrown around words like “hostage” when referring to the American people, no one from either side has come out to refute that claim. When members of Congress refer to each other as terrorists, like Sen. Chuck Schumer has, then we have a very serious problem.

Is this why a Bi-cameral party system is doomed? I say “bi-cameral” not referring to the chambers of Congress but to the dualism that is the Republican and Democratic parties. These two parties are making laws that our nation cannot survive. Their laws are those of favoritism or cronyism-however you want to put it. Either way the American people are the ones that are left out.

It reminds me of the play ground during recess in elementary school. It’s the day of the big kickball game and sides have been chosen: Republicans on one side, Democrats on the other. The winner gets to pick out the book that’s read before nap time. There are two choices: How the Grinches Literally Stole Christmas or Rudolph the Red Nosed Budget. Neither one has a happy ending.

The blame, of course, rests with the Commander-In-Chief. Though despite reaching a compromise he was tarred and feathered by the Democratic Party for kowtowing to the Republicans; says Rep. Anthony Weiner of New York (D), “I don't think he sold us out. I just don't think he made a very good deal.”

What’s a president to do? Are we still caught up in the cowboy politics that cleared brush in the Bush Era? Have we become so comfortable with bullying the United States Congress with wars and economic crisis that the only way we can respond to proper legislation and the hint of bi-partisanship is if the fate of the US depends on it? The question is: when does the fate of the U.S. not depend on it? 

Graduation

To graduate is a subtle thing. Despite the Pomp and Circumstance, dress shoes and gathering of family and friends, the act is as simple as a handshake and a smile. Just as history lasts the blink of an eye and the future stretches on in interminable fashion, so will end my and several hundred other Buckeyes' tenures at The Ohio State University when we graduate at the end of the quarter.

It is an odd feeling graduating from such a large university. My high school graduating class consisted of fewer than 80 people, all of whom knew each other. The likelihood that I will know the person on either side of me at Autumn Commencement is virtually nil. Although we might not know each other by name, we share a common intrinsic bond: our love for this great institution.

Our majors vary, as do our experiences, but we all share a few of the same memories.

The first memory is the best, as it is the sound of the mail being delivered a few days before high school graduation. You know the sound. I am sure you remember your hands shaking as you held an envelope that read: The Ohio State University. Your heart is in your throat, beating a million beats per second as you realize that your hopes and dreams of being a Buckeye rest within the confines of this unnervingly thin envelope. You look at your parents, who are just as nervous as you — though they'll never tell you that. They say, "Well, are you going to open it or what?" You open it and tentatively unfold a single piece of paper and see only one word before bursting into a fit of joy. The word: "Congratulations!"

I haven't jumped that high before or since.

It is a feeling only a Buckeye can know. It is a feeling of immediate belonging to a family of thousands and an induction into a rich and storied history of academic excellence. It immediately makes your once unseemly hatred of "that state up north" justified — not that it needs to be.

The memory of 7:30 a.m. Winter Quarter classes is something I will truly miss. There is something serenely beautiful about this campus in the winter when the snow is gently falling at 7:36 a.m., while you're running to class — only to find it has been canceled. Oh, the memories!

Our experiences vary, but the mutual experience of dominating Michigan is one we can all brag about. I mean, honestly, it's like they're not even trying anymore, not that it would matter. Seeing the Buckeyes storm the field and feeling the ‘Shoe pulse as The White Stripes' perfect bass groove infects 105,000 people is an experience I hope you can enjoy as a student.

There is one final experience we will all share. After sitting through commencement with a mix of boredom, excitement and nervousness, it will happen. The Best Damn Band In The Land will play the opening chords of "Carmen Ohio," and a lump will form in your throat.