Vote for the best, not the loudest.

As of now, I understand the current political landscape as this: If we vote Democrat, then socialist zombies are going to eat the Constitution, and our guns, then vomit Bible-eating stem cells paid for by Obamacare while al-Qaeda uses the six white stripes of the American flag for toilet paper.

If we vote Republican, then the fat cats on Wall Street will use your parents' retirement funds to buy gas for joyrides. Then they'll shoot at the middle class from helicopters made entirely out of bones from deceased fauna from the Gulf Coast oil spill.

If none of that made any sense but somehow sounds right, then welcome to the 2010 midterm election — an election that has become less about what candidates can do for our country than what they have already done to it. Who are we to vote for if each vote brings us closer to the apocalypse?

Furthermore, why do we want these sycophantic cretins running our government? On a list of current candidates' accomplishments, the term "acceptable" is highlighted as if it is an accolade worth mentioning. How many candidates claim that they have "protected our families and communities?" From what, aliens? Crime in Ohio is appalling, and the unemployment rate is almost 10 percent. If we are being protected from anything, it's progress and prosperity.

Not one party — Green, Tea, Libertarian, Constitution, Democratic or Republican — has a viable solution to the ails of our nation. Candidates claim they are going to do what is best for our communities, but what is that exactly? How can they fix a nation that is divided now more than ever? They claim that if their party has control of Congress then they can fix the problems.

The blame game has reached epic proportions. Each party is blaming the other for the state of affairs, and neither side has the temerity to own up to its failures. It is as if Congress has turned into feral tribes bent on domination while the American people are left helpless — choosing sides for the glimmer of protection offered by safety in numbers. Each party claims to have the goal of national prosperity, though I have yet to see an olive branch through the rain of arrows.

Is it audacious to hope for a Congress that puts aside partisanship for the promise of a better tomorrow for all Americans? It's an audacity President Barack Obama rallied for during his campaign, a president who promised to air out the Capitol and usher in a new era in American politics, a president whose tenure history will show smacks of Special Forces work — you only hear about the failures.

My fellow Buckeyes: Do not be dismayed. If you are a freshman undergraduate or doctorate student looking for hope and change or to find your lost country, then look in the mirror. It has become apparent that our leaders have failed us. If we wish to stem the tide of our destruction then we must act and act now.

Go to the polls Tuesday and vote for the best person to do the job, regardless of party affiliation. Vote for the chance of a better future.