Frog Soup: Global Warming equals Waterworld

The sky is falling! Wolf! Fire! Help!

No, seriously, the sky is falling. It may seem like rain or snow, but this is the beginning of the end. Those who expected the end to come swiftly, I am sorry to tell you that it is coming slowly and surely-like a cold front. Much like a weather pattern, this was forecasted by scientists and tree-huggers alike, the end of life as we know it will come drop by drop.

A frog on a hot plate has been an apt metaphor for humanity’s response to global warming. Even though the frog dies at the end of that particular parable, no measures have been taken to see to it that we do not share the same fate. Why is that?

It seems to me that we should be doing something. Well, we are. We are debating whether or not global warming is a fact that should be viewed as an imminent threat or a trend that comes as a result of the Earth doing its thing. Though either way we are doomed to tread water until the next ice age reclaims the additional water in the atmosphere.

What additional water? Well check out the headlines from the last few days:

CNN: “Soggy SoCal facing even more rain, flooding, forecasters say”-12/22/10

BBC: “BAA boss refuses bonus over snow”- 12/22/10

NY Times: “Ill Prepared for Snowfall, Britain Crawls to a Halt”-12/20/10

Now this is just recent news, there have been stories of record weather all around the world throughout the past decade. Is it possible that this is normal when records are being broken? Records that have stood for over 100 years are being shattered by the amounts of precipitation we have received in the past few years and we are supposed to believe that this is a normal trend.

There is evidence that the amount of CO₂ is the atmosphere is higher than it has ever been which is causing greenhouse gasses to be trapped, thus heating the Earth, causing the ice caps to melt and introducing more water into the atmosphere. This isn’t voodoo-it is actual measurable science and it is being batted away like the fevered daydream of a child with an over active imagination.

I thought that once capital was affected by this turn of events, we would see some sweeping changes to ensure that corporations the world over stayed in the black.  What did we get: Toyota Prius. Nice. Fossil fuel dependence is the bane of human existence. I will put it on the same level as terrorism. What the Prius and “solutions” of its ilk have done is extend the usage of fossil fuels beyond the foreseeable horizon.  This is akin to tying on more fuse to delay the inevitable explosion instead of cutting the fuse.

Are the changes that would be required to stem the tide to severe that global flooding is a better alternative? What do we need to do: stop burning fossil fuels, recycle more, plant trees-basically respect our planet. Is this too high a cost? Has personal freedom cost us a place to live? It seems so.

There is money to be made in green technology. The Soot Mongers would like to keep things as they are-shame on them. Change is the only constant and we know why we need to change from our ways. That they are lobbying against this change means that they are lobbying against our future. Meanwhile the heat is on. Ribbit. 

Give me compromise or give me death!

The recent round of slap fighting on the Hill is cause for serious alarm. That our elected officials cannot agree on a compromise is down right embarrassing. What’s worse is that even though the White House and the media have thrown around words like “hostage” when referring to the American people, no one from either side has come out to refute that claim. When members of Congress refer to each other as terrorists, like Sen. Chuck Schumer has, then we have a very serious problem.

Is this why a Bi-cameral party system is doomed? I say “bi-cameral” not referring to the chambers of Congress but to the dualism that is the Republican and Democratic parties. These two parties are making laws that our nation cannot survive. Their laws are those of favoritism or cronyism-however you want to put it. Either way the American people are the ones that are left out.

It reminds me of the play ground during recess in elementary school. It’s the day of the big kickball game and sides have been chosen: Republicans on one side, Democrats on the other. The winner gets to pick out the book that’s read before nap time. There are two choices: How the Grinches Literally Stole Christmas or Rudolph the Red Nosed Budget. Neither one has a happy ending.

The blame, of course, rests with the Commander-In-Chief. Though despite reaching a compromise he was tarred and feathered by the Democratic Party for kowtowing to the Republicans; says Rep. Anthony Weiner of New York (D), “I don't think he sold us out. I just don't think he made a very good deal.”

What’s a president to do? Are we still caught up in the cowboy politics that cleared brush in the Bush Era? Have we become so comfortable with bullying the United States Congress with wars and economic crisis that the only way we can respond to proper legislation and the hint of bi-partisanship is if the fate of the US depends on it? The question is: when does the fate of the U.S. not depend on it? 

Graduation

To graduate is a subtle thing. Despite the Pomp and Circumstance, dress shoes and gathering of family and friends, the act is as simple as a handshake and a smile. Just as history lasts the blink of an eye and the future stretches on in interminable fashion, so will end my and several hundred other Buckeyes' tenures at The Ohio State University when we graduate at the end of the quarter.

It is an odd feeling graduating from such a large university. My high school graduating class consisted of fewer than 80 people, all of whom knew each other. The likelihood that I will know the person on either side of me at Autumn Commencement is virtually nil. Although we might not know each other by name, we share a common intrinsic bond: our love for this great institution.

Our majors vary, as do our experiences, but we all share a few of the same memories.

The first memory is the best, as it is the sound of the mail being delivered a few days before high school graduation. You know the sound. I am sure you remember your hands shaking as you held an envelope that read: The Ohio State University. Your heart is in your throat, beating a million beats per second as you realize that your hopes and dreams of being a Buckeye rest within the confines of this unnervingly thin envelope. You look at your parents, who are just as nervous as you — though they'll never tell you that. They say, "Well, are you going to open it or what?" You open it and tentatively unfold a single piece of paper and see only one word before bursting into a fit of joy. The word: "Congratulations!"

I haven't jumped that high before or since.

It is a feeling only a Buckeye can know. It is a feeling of immediate belonging to a family of thousands and an induction into a rich and storied history of academic excellence. It immediately makes your once unseemly hatred of "that state up north" justified — not that it needs to be.

The memory of 7:30 a.m. Winter Quarter classes is something I will truly miss. There is something serenely beautiful about this campus in the winter when the snow is gently falling at 7:36 a.m., while you're running to class — only to find it has been canceled. Oh, the memories!

Our experiences vary, but the mutual experience of dominating Michigan is one we can all brag about. I mean, honestly, it's like they're not even trying anymore, not that it would matter. Seeing the Buckeyes storm the field and feeling the ‘Shoe pulse as The White Stripes' perfect bass groove infects 105,000 people is an experience I hope you can enjoy as a student.

There is one final experience we will all share. After sitting through commencement with a mix of boredom, excitement and nervousness, it will happen. The Best Damn Band In The Land will play the opening chords of "Carmen Ohio," and a lump will form in your throat.

Terrorism does nothing for anyone

Terrorism: What is it good for? Absolutely nothing. Terrorism I despise because it means destruction of innocent lives. It ain't nothing but a heartbreaker, friend only to the undertaker. It is an enemy to all mankind. The point of terrorism blows my mind.

Edwin Starr's classic song "War" is a fitting soundtrack to the war on terror. Terrorism of any scale is reprehensible. Be it al-Qaeda's global reach or a bomb threat called in to Ohio State's campus, terrorism epitomizes the absolute worst of humanity.

While standing feet away from the Franklin County Sherriff's Office Bomb Squad truck during the campus bomb threat last Tuesday — like the genius I am — it never occurred to me that the threat was anything more than a student's ploy to skip a midterm exam. Luckily, the thought occurred to the myriad emergency services and public safety agencies that descended on campus that day, and my hat (gloves, scarf and coat) is off to them for the wonderful job they did to keep us safe and informed.

The goal of terrorism seems to be to destabilize and to induce — wait for it — terror. But to what ends? What cause does it help? I know there are groups that do not agree with how society is progressing, but is blowing people up really they way to redress these grievances? We can plead terrorists not to target innocent lives, but to those who see normalcy as the enemy, no one is innocent.

We know terrorists aim to inflict the maximum amount of carnage and grief using weapons strapped to people or sealed in an envelope. We know they find immeasurable joy in the immeasurable suffering of others. We know they are planning something else at all hours of the day. What we don't know is who they are.

But we do know what we would like to do with them when we find them, right?

Trying them in court is not what I had in mind, but it seems to be the humane thing to do. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has defended the use of U.S. civilian courts to prosecute terror suspects held in Guantanamo Bay. I think that is one of the worst ideas I've ever heard. What is the benefit of trying terrorists? Do ordinary citizens around the world get trial by jury before some moron decides to blow them up? And if they're found to be innocent, do you really think they're going to go back home and forget the luxury accommodations and spa treatment they received at Guantanamo Bay?

What is the going rate for a human life nowadays? Ten, 20 or even 30 years in prison? A bargain by any stripe. A prison sentence in and of itself is a slap in the face to justice. But I guess it is the humane thing to do, since humanity is the terrorists' main concern.

Perhaps terrorism is something larger that I just cannot wrap my head around. Maybe I'm missing the link between terrorism and the reduction of carbon dioxide emissions. It's possible. Or maybe terrorism is just the worst: a cancer that historians in the future will look upon as a curable ailment and not a terminal disease. I'll say it again y'all — Terrorism — what is it good for? Absolutely nothing.

GOP = Theocracy?

A long time ago, in a republic far, far away… It is a dark time for the Democrats. Although Democrats retain the majority in the Senate, conservative Republicans have driven Democratic candidates from their seats in the U.S. House of Representatives and pursue those still in office with zealous fervor.

Yes — "The Empire Strikes Back" — there is no more fitting description of the times today, as the politics of division and hate have settled into power across the nation. I preferred "A New Hope" back in 2008, when there was a chance we could move forward as a nation and a species. Now I fear we will regress in both capacities, though our military spending will go through the roof like a Bunker Buster bomb.

What I have learned is that conservative Republican politics are good only for conservative Republicans who deem themselves the saviors of the nation.

Reading a list of conservative values is like reading the Ten Commandments. Even if you don't subscribe to the Judeo-Christian religion, you can agree that some of the commandments are just fundamentally sound: Don't kill, steal, commit adultery, lie.

The problem as I see it is that conservative values seem to stem from the will of God, and those who oppose it are sinful children who need the guidance and protection of the Republican Party. Though it contains some good ideas, the conservative ideology is too close to religious law for comfort.

According to the Wikipedia-like website Conservapedia, "conservative values are useful and powerful in combating common human weaknesses: Lust, Laziness, Jealousy, Gluttony, Pride, Conflict, Corruption." The list is strikingly similar to the seven deadly sins, as listed by the Catholic Church. My objection is this: Lust is where babies come from, and jealousy, gluttony, pride, conflict and corruption describe every political candidate — even Republicans.

In a country that espouses freedom of religion and separation of church and state, how can we adhere to the theocracy of conservative Republican politics?

Conservative Republicans claim that the liberal elite (read: Democrats) think they know what's best for America because they're college-educated and thus have an air of mental superiority. So, we don't want the smartest people making decisions? Also, I know college-educated conservative Republicans, so does that make them the conservative elite?

The Republican agenda is what really draws my ire. The main issue is that Republicans want to cut taxes and make America more fiscally responsible by reducing spending. Well, how can we cut taxes and pay back our debt at the same time? How can we cut taxes and reduce spending while still providing unemployment and medical assistance for the millions of Americans who have been displaced because their jobs were shipped overseas?

What does being fiscally responsible really mean? Spend only what you have earned? The American economy is built on borrowing and repaying. Borrowing and repaying is how we started this nation. Consider this: If America is to be truly independent, then the citizens must pay for the upkeep of the republic. We call it taxes.

The empire has struck in the 2010 midterm elections, and we will see the nation become even more divided than ever. It is my hope that in the 2012 elections, we will be witness to "The Return of the Jedi."

Vote for the best, not the loudest.

As of now, I understand the current political landscape as this: If we vote Democrat, then socialist zombies are going to eat the Constitution, and our guns, then vomit Bible-eating stem cells paid for by Obamacare while al-Qaeda uses the six white stripes of the American flag for toilet paper.

If we vote Republican, then the fat cats on Wall Street will use your parents' retirement funds to buy gas for joyrides. Then they'll shoot at the middle class from helicopters made entirely out of bones from deceased fauna from the Gulf Coast oil spill.

If none of that made any sense but somehow sounds right, then welcome to the 2010 midterm election — an election that has become less about what candidates can do for our country than what they have already done to it. Who are we to vote for if each vote brings us closer to the apocalypse?

Furthermore, why do we want these sycophantic cretins running our government? On a list of current candidates' accomplishments, the term "acceptable" is highlighted as if it is an accolade worth mentioning. How many candidates claim that they have "protected our families and communities?" From what, aliens? Crime in Ohio is appalling, and the unemployment rate is almost 10 percent. If we are being protected from anything, it's progress and prosperity.

Not one party — Green, Tea, Libertarian, Constitution, Democratic or Republican — has a viable solution to the ails of our nation. Candidates claim they are going to do what is best for our communities, but what is that exactly? How can they fix a nation that is divided now more than ever? They claim that if their party has control of Congress then they can fix the problems.

The blame game has reached epic proportions. Each party is blaming the other for the state of affairs, and neither side has the temerity to own up to its failures. It is as if Congress has turned into feral tribes bent on domination while the American people are left helpless — choosing sides for the glimmer of protection offered by safety in numbers. Each party claims to have the goal of national prosperity, though I have yet to see an olive branch through the rain of arrows.

Is it audacious to hope for a Congress that puts aside partisanship for the promise of a better tomorrow for all Americans? It's an audacity President Barack Obama rallied for during his campaign, a president who promised to air out the Capitol and usher in a new era in American politics, a president whose tenure history will show smacks of Special Forces work — you only hear about the failures.

My fellow Buckeyes: Do not be dismayed. If you are a freshman undergraduate or doctorate student looking for hope and change or to find your lost country, then look in the mirror. It has become apparent that our leaders have failed us. If we wish to stem the tide of our destruction then we must act and act now.

Go to the polls Tuesday and vote for the best person to do the job, regardless of party affiliation. Vote for the chance of a better future.

What happened to the nickname?

Question: What happened to the nickname? Here we sit atop an embarrassment of riches — the university with the most collegiate sports in all the NCAA — and all we have to show for it is Daniel "Boom" Herron. Come on. We can do better.

Is Chris Berman of ESPN fame the only one who can come up with a good nickname? He is talented, don't get me wrong: Mike "you're in-good-hands-with" Alstott, Albert "Winnie the" Pujols, Jose "can you see" Canseco, and my favorite, Scott "Supercalifragilisticexpiali" Brosius. But surely we can come up with some for our athletes.

Take the football team for example. Dozens of talented young men with only one recognized nickname among the lot: "Boom." Tsk tsk tsk. We have an other-worldly receiver named Dane Sanzenbacher — are you kidding me? "The Catchinator" Dane "Stickum" Sanzenbacher!

Another receiver so good the Badgers put two guys on him: "DeVious" DeVier Posey. How about Cameron "Hide you're quarterbacks, hide your running backs and hide your coaches too because he's tackling everyone out here" Heyward? It's long, but he's a big guy. It would fit on his jersey.

Other ideas include: Jake "Rolling" Stoneburner, Andrew Sweat "The Technique," Tyler "Respawning in 3 … 2 … 1" Moeller and "Oh S---! It's:" Brian Rolle. You get the idea. They don't all have to be Bermanisms but something unique that highlights our athlete's abilities.

We have stellar athletes in other sports, too. Gymnast Brandon "For the" Wynn is about to begin competition with the U.S. National Team at the 2010 World Artistic Championships. OSU Women's Volleyball star Kelli "Sets the" Barhorst was just named Big Ten Player of the Week.

Nicknames are morale boosters. You hear the deafening "BOOOOOM" in the ‘Shoe when Herron breaks a big one. When the team travels, and announcers have to point out that "they're not booing, folks," that is a staple of the Buckeye nation. We need more of that.

I believe merit is a hallmark of a good nickname. But if that's the case, why does Archie "too-damn-fast-for-a-nickname" Griffin not have one? If any player in college football history should have a nickname, it's the only two-time Heisman trophy winner. Eddie George, Troy Smith, Terry Glenn, Chris Spielman — where are their nicknames?

We have the talent and the opportunity, so let's be creative and give our players in all sports good, wholesome nicknames that will last generations and show that we really are the best damn fans in the land.

Who watches the watchmen?

It's Friday night and you're at a party at your best friend's house. Another beer? Sure, you're 21, why not. Next thing you know you're face down on the sidewalk with a knee in your back and an officer bending your wrists in ways that would make Ted DiBiase proud. The officer is aggressively reminding you that you have the right to remain silent while trying to elicit a noise from the pretzel you once called a forearm.

Slammed against a police cruiser repeatedly and told to "keep your mouth shut" and "please, watch your head" as you are being placed ever so gingerly into a backseat that must have been designed for amputees.

What happened?

Well, odds are you were drunk and disorderly. It's what happens when you drink too much. However, should that mean you become a training dummy for a law-dog who's hell-bent on showing you kids what's good for you? I think not.

Now, if you were to attack an officer, then yes, you deserved that pile driver. But the long money is on the fact that you were mildly intoxicated and had no clue you were being arrested.

So now that you have a few scratches on your face and bruises around your wrists where your pride used to be, what do you do?

You can always file a complaint to the arresting officer's supervisor. You can call the police non-emergency line with the officer's badge number and request a supervisor at your location. That's based on availability, so don't hold your breath. And remember, odds are you were in the wrong and the sober officer was using just force to restrain your drunken and invincible self.

If you feel that you must have justice for the savage beating you took at the hands of the law, then you can also call the department of internal affairs — the police police — to request that the matter be reviewed. That process might take a while and, depending on the offense, the outcome of the review might not be in your favor.

But rest assured, you do have rights and there are procedures to protect you if you feel you have been the victim of an overzealous police officer. The best way to avoid that situation is not to have that 15th beer. It will not erase the pain of losing to Wisconsin.

Vote for Issue 4!

This might be old hat but it is true: The educational superstructure of America is crumbling. It will leave a shell of a defeated nation that was once heralded as a shining example of human ingenuity and a world leader in innovation.

Education funding is a joke for many public school districts.

An article by the National Education Association reads as an obituary for public schools. The article is a compilation of headlines from across the country. Headlines such as "Thirty-Four States Cut Spending on Elementary and Secondary Education, Thirty-Six to Higher Education in 2010; Thirty-One Proposed Cutting Both K-12 and Higher Education in 2011" and "The Recession Will Trigger Hundreds of Thousands of Teacher Layoffs."

Too many K-12 schools across the country have to add "cutback" to their lists of words children must know for proficiency testing. Good news for those of you studying education.

Where do we draw the line? Many school systems are getting rid of the arts as part of their core curriculum. Can you imagine your little brother or sister going to a school without access to band or art class? Some of the coolest teachers are art teachers!

There is an issue on the local ballot — Issue 4 — that is primarily about money for the Columbus Metropolitan Library. To put it bluntly, if it does not pass, the library system in Columbus will fail. This isn't some podunk library system. The Columbus Metropolitan Library is, without exaggeration, the best library system in the nation.

Imagine if you will: A crying child standing outside the chained doors of a now-derelict library. A gang of street toughs have claimed the playground that once manufactured laughter and fun. They begin to taunt the child, who now has no safe haven, no hope. A wolf howls in the distance.

What chance do we have as a nation if we mortgage our future by cutting spending on education? If the library goes, so do the schools. If the schools go, so do our jobs. If the jobs go…

It is a geometric progression to our cultural and financial destruction.

The library is not just a warehouse for books and a place to check your e-mail. It is a community center and, for many, a chance at opportunities they might never realize if the library ceased to exist.

Here's a question: Two nations leave the station at the same time. One nation has ample education funding, but the other does not. If both nations travel a given distance based on their levels of education, which nation will arrive to a better future? Solve for X.

College Degree: Check. What else you got?

What are you going to do with your degree? As a philosophy major, I'm asked this question every time I mention my major. The question is usually an attack on the real-life applicability of my degree.

But it is a question that applies to us all.

There was a time when a four-year degree meant the difference between blue collar and white collar. Now with graduates working at the Bob Evans on Olentangy River Road (my server had a degree in psychology), the question of how to apply your degree is as important as ever.

I'm not disparaging serving as a career choice, though it doesn't seem to have the satisfaction that a four-year degree could garner or the ability to repay student loans. Maybe those studying hospitality or food science would enjoy such a career. But being a philosophy major, I should count myself lucky to have the money to eat at Bob Evans, let alone joke about the prospect of working there after graduation.

I kid because the sad fact is that a four-year degree does not carry the weight it once did. It is a minimum requirement for most of the jobs you want, but what does that say about the job? You and every other college graduate will be jockeying for the same entry-level positions across the world — so how will you distinguish yourself?

I suppose the question becomes not, "What will you do with your degree?" but, "What will you do with your college education?" Will you simply go to class every day for four years and graduate with a degree, or will you avail yourself of the myriad opportunities afforded to you on campus?

Not a day goes by when I don't receive an e-mail from career services or see flyers hanging in the RPAC or Jimmy John's for some amazing opportunity.

Don't delete those e-mails or breeze past those flyers. They are opportunities for you to distinguish yourself on your resume and say, "I may be a philosophy major but I also was able to apply myself in these different ways to become respected by my peers and to learn new things."

Extracurricular activities get noticed by potential employers. They show your ability to socialize, and remember, it is about what you know and who you know. The recruiter for your dream job might have been in Block "O" too, and that could make all the difference.

So next time you are on the North Campus Loop or having lunch at the Union and see a flyer that piques your interest, jot the information down and make a concerted effort to try something new. Maybe the friends you make can one day have lunch at Bob Evans … My name is Austin and I'll be your server.

We need a better class of political candidate

It's election season again and that's the bad news. Why is it bad news? How come I'm not celebrating the time of year when we get to act on our cherished beliefs of liberty and hope, of independence and change, of justice and free speech?

You would think this changing of the guard would be heralded with mirth, that I would be grateful to live in a country that can change its stripes mid-step and correct the erroneous path it had embarked upon.

Well...

The fact is: I am proud to be an American. I am. I am chauvinistic in my love for this country and that is why election season is depressing. It's as if America and I are breaking up over and over and, honestly, it sucks.

Please don't misunderstand me; I don't want my country, back. I'm not so lost in my own zealotry for a better America that I think this country has gone anywhere we haven't led it. But I do want it to be a better America.

Students of Ohio State, ask yourselves if you are happy with the way things are. Ask yourselves if you feel well-represented. I don't, and our candidates are abysmal.

We have a gubernatorial race that will decide the fate for many graduating in the next four years. Yet Gov. Ted Strickland and challenger John Kasich so far have declined invitations to meet with Lantern staff. It would be swell if they could take time away from throwing jabs at each other to learn what students — one of the largest voting blocks in the state — think about the issues.

I want a candidate I can put my hopes in. I am tired of having to choose between Tweedle Dee and someone I wouldn't trust to inhale and exhale. I am tired of having our archetypal candidates be clean-cut scholars who we find out are nymphomaniac pirates or "average Joe's" whose interpretations of the Constitution are an affront to elementary reading comprehension.

Is there no candidate who comes from a broken home, who was an intelligent but average student, and who has a misdemeanor he or she is deeply remorseful about? A candidate who has some embarrassing party pictures on MySpace — yeah, MySpace. Give me candidates who have seen the error of their ways and want to make a difference via experience.

I want a candidate who asks, "Why is it Wall Street versus Main Street?" I don't live or work on either of those streets. Most of us coming out of college will work on King Avenue or High Street while living on Chittenden — if we're lucky enough to get a job.

The good news is that we have a university teeming with possibility. Change comes slowly, so we might be waiting on one of our freshmen to make the difference, but the change must come. I know there is one of you out there who has the mustard seed of potential and the fertile soil of desire to lead the change. Plant that seed, water it with the support of your peers, and grow to be the change that we so desperately need.

Let Tiger be Tiger

Tiger Woods' apology has spawned more punditry than any apology since the Don Imus debacle. The problem, as I see it, is this: Elin, Sam, Charlie and Kultida Woods are the only people Tiger needs to apologize to. The rest of us need to worry about our own supply of beeswax.

I do not condone Tiger's behavior, but I also do not condone the mistakes of my past. Not only should we not be casting stones, but we should be using said stones to rebuild the crumbling walls of our own moral decay.

There is a feeling that because he is looked up to by so many people, children in particular, that he owes the multiverse an apology. This is coming in an era where families are bombarded with primetime television shows such as "Wife Swap," "Keeping up with the Kardashians," "Temptation Island" and "Who Wants to Marry a Multi-Millionaire?"

Tiger's infidelity was wrong insofar as he was married. It is an affront to his marriage, not to the game of golf or to Nike Inc. To hear about sponsors dropping him because his actions are not of the caliber of their organizations is laughable. Let us X-ray the skeletons in the closets of the AT&T Inc. or Accenture fat cats and also let us be surprised when we find misdoings.

Nike, to its credit, has not dropped the world's No. 1 ranked golfer because of his infidelity. They sponsor him because he is the best golfer, not the best husband.

Tiger Woods is not an elected official; he is a golfer — an extraordinary golfer, but still a golfer. Above all he is a human being. I am no Woods apologist but the fact that Tiger was compelled to issue a public apology for transgressions in his private life is appalling.

I would expect to see more elected officials storming Capitol Hill for legislation concerning privacy. But the sad fact is unless it concerns financial transactions, health care or the census you are at the mercy of your neighbor.

That said, I would like to see some legislation to protect children — if no one else — from being thrust in the limelight.

During his 14-minute apology, Tiger Woods seemingly begged the media to keep his family, especially his children, out of the tabloids. I say if the tabloids are going to hide behind the First Amendment while hunting down children of celebrities and various flavors of the day, then maybe said celebrities should hide behind the Second Amendment.

News Web sites and television shows have hired experts to dissect the body language as well as the tone of voice of recent celebrity apologists. They have experts and specialists combing through their every word and nuance as if the media has been appointed to be the district attorney for the entire planet.

They claim the public has a right to know. Where are these rights listed? Perhaps we need Miranda rights for privacy. You have the right to remain private. Anything you say or do can and will be held against you in the court of the water cooler. You have the right to a private life. If you cannot afford a public relations firm, one will be appointed to you. Do you understand these rights as they have been given to you?

Well, one can dream.

Columbus 2015

Five years from now Columbus will be a vibrant metropolis replete with an improved mass transit system, a revitalized downtown and the same problems it had 10 years ago.

An initiative dubbed "Central Ohio: 2015" will have planning sessions to include insight from the central Ohio community on how Columbus will look, feel and live in five years. I love that the city is looking forward, but we have problems from our past that need to be fixed. They say hindsight is 20/20, so I guess we will have to wait 10 years for real change.

I have strolled downtown and have seen the changes that have transpired since the demolition of the old Lazarus building. The site's former moniker serves as a fitting cornerstone to the new urban developments that are now happening in the area.

Several new, cool things are being built. There is a new housing development, and Bicentennial Park is receiving an update that would make Ty Pennington of "Extreme Makeover" fame proud.

The new Main Street Bridge, whenever it is completed, will be a source of pride for the city for years to come. According to DowntownColumbus.com, "The Main Street Bridge is the first inclined, single-rib tied arch bridge in the whole United States. AND it's only the fifth inclined arch superstructure on the face of the planet." Awesome!

The Arena District, North Bank Park and beloved Short North areas offer the most entertainment in as many square acres as anyone in the city could ask for. Nothing beats walking down an arch-illuminated High Street on a snowy winter's night with a cup of hot chocolate and a friend surrounded by the plethora of artistic and culinary talent the city has to offer.

All of the planned construction and urban renewal initiatives sound great on paper and I hope they do work in they ways the city leadership has described — but as we have seen in America over the past year, hope is not enough.

I hope that the educational and financial problems of the Columbus City school system are fixed by this plan. I hope that the city can find a way to pay our Police and Fire departments. I also hope that voters will see fit to fund our city's library system, which was ranked No. 2 in the nation in 2009 and has been ranked in the top 3 perennially.

I hope all these things and more will be fixed, and soon, but I have yet to see any legislature to enact these changes.

As students of the Ohio State University and temporary, perhaps permanent, citizens of the city of Columbus I hope these issues are dear to you too. We are the future of this city and as you can see, Columbus has a bright future but only if we have the vision to fix the problems of the present and the past.

BTW: there is a war going on...

I would like to take this time to apologize to the men and women of the United States military. This is not satire. I am deeply remorseful.

I honestly forgot there were two wars being fought.

I have become everything an honest American and self-aware human being should never be: shiftless and complacent. I have relied upon the home screen of CNN.com to educate me as to the condition of the world. What I have received is a second-to-second update on all things Haiti. I think there was a bit about "Avatar" and maybe something about Mark McGwire admitting to steroid use. You know: the important stuff.

The Haitian earthquake crisis is a global tragedy, to be sure. I cannot imagine a worse fate than to be the only surviving member of my family due to an unforeseen natural disaster; immediately thrust from relative joviality to abject nothingness by the mere shaking of the ground; and surrounded by neighbors in the same state of affairs with little or no hope … I shudder at the thought.

But what else happened in the world? Surely something closer to our national interests has happened since Jan. 13; some sports controversy or an adulterous senator — this is America for crying out loud!

As a reminder to some, there are two wars being fought in Afghanistan and Iraq. I would think that this would still be prominent on the news landscape. We are still in the midst of a recession and although things seem to be better, how about some news to accompany that fact.

There was a key election in the great state of Massachusetts that could use some face time at Ye Olde Water Cooler. Not to mention it is Super Bowl season: where are all the advertisers?

It would seem that all that matters in the world is that the ground shook in Haiti and we are helping. I say help away. I've sent money and clothes, Hollywood has rallied along with the rest of the world's nations and organizations that are able, and we have all seen the news corresponding to these facts. It has apparently been the only thing newsworthy in over a week.

The "news" has become Caesar during the games at the Coliseum, taking its cues on what to air or print based upon the sentiment of the fickle crowd and ad revenue. I say "thumbs down." There is one area where I think democracy should not reign, and that is in the dissemination of the news. I want the news to tell me what is going on not because it sells but because "that's the way it was."

The truth is that the information is out there if I was to but look for it, but it seems, as my actions indicate, that I would rather be spoon-fed my news rather than investigate for myself. How many of you feel the same way?

We are not ready...at all.

The recent tragedy in Haiti made me wonder about the ability of the United States to handle a disaster of equal or greater measure. I do not think we are a ready or able.

Sure we can handle the hurricanes that batter Florida and the East Coast, and California is relatively prepared for an earthquake. Keep this in mind: There are roughly 3,000 miles and dozens of densely populated areas between coasts. What about the rest of us?

A major earthquake or natural disaster in a major U.S. city like Pittsburgh, Chicago, Denver or Columbus seems unlikely, and that is a problem. The odds of such an event happening may be small but not impossible.

It is the complacency of odds that worries me about the preparedness of America.

There's no preparedness in the modern American city. You know the one: riddled with debt and potholes, barely able to educate its children, choked by scandal and inefficiency. It is not prepared for a major disaster. Neither is America.

The truth is that we are spread too thin as a nation to endure a major disaster. The financial crisis has already shattered our piggy bank.

The wars in the Middle East have stretched our physical resources to the breaking point.

The natural disasters in other countries around the globe have strained our ability to give.
Woe betide the city that has to bear the burden of the next 6.5-plus magnitude earthquake or category 5 hurricane.

The immediate loss of life and utter destruction will, of course, be devastating and heart wrenching. This will be nothing compared to the pain the nation will have to endure upon realizing its inability to help.

I don't mean to discount the human spirit and the incredible ability of people coming to the aid of strangers in a crisis. I mean to state that I do not think the United States has the infrastructure to repair a major American city if a mega-disaster were to happen.

The unthinkable and soul shaking events of 9/11 happened eight years ago and we have still not rebuilt the beloved buildings of the World Trade Center.

The meteorological and social travesty that was Hurricane Katrina happened more than four years ago. New Orleans still lies in shambles.

Hurricane Katrina was hailed as an unprecedented disaster and this gave Federal Emergency Management Agency a bit of an out when it came to its ineffectual control of the situation.

I love this nation and this is why I am supremely concerned. After the lackluster performance of our leaders during national crises, I just do not have the faith in our ability to weather storms.

This is where we come in, Pioneers! O Pioneers!

I look to you, engineering students, to build our country stronger. I look to you, law students, to truss our nation with stricter building codes. I look to you, students of the Ohio State University, to not let complacency rot our nation from the inside out.
Go forth.

Athletes are people too!

Why do we hold athletes to a higher moral standard? You hear about it in the news almost every day: X athlete did Y wrong and how dare they!

There have been several high profile athletes that have been mercilessly scrutinized by the media and our own social groups. Tiger Woods is the most recent addition to the list of notorious athletes, as a short drive turned into a hole-in-one for 24-hour news sources.

Let me say that I do not condone any illegal action that athletes or non-athletes partake in. Still, I do not condone the amount of attention athletes receive when they do something wrong.

Where does this expectation of enhanced moral standards come from? Is it because we are bred to view these physical celebrities as role models and as such they should only act to the highest moral standard? What if they do not want to be role models?

Maybe I am being too vague.

Maybe I should contain my disdain to the immoral acts and not the illegal, as morality is as flexible as a gymnist. Illegal actions are a matter of public record, so maybe we should pour all of our attention and resources into the discovery of motives and the facts about the crime.

Sure.

But what about the misdeeds done by athletes that are not illegal by rule of law but are "illegal" in view of society. For clarity, use this example: Michael Vick and his dog fighting ring — illegal; Tiger Woods' infidelity — immoral. Kobe Bryant, the Duke University Lacrosse team… let's not even go there.

The immorality of "celebreletes" (yeah, that just happened) should not be the focus of an immoral society. Still, this is easier said than done in a country that prides itself on religious freedom and free speech.

These cherished principles allow us to have freedoms that have advanced our culture in more positive ways than can be counted. It has also given rise to entities such as TMZ, whose sole purpose seems to be to tattle on anyone the camera catches in focus. I grew up under the notion that no one likes a tattletale. Perhaps I am old fashioned.

Are we to blame for their actions? We have deified most successful professional and collegiate athletes and athletic programs. We hold them as our champions and as such they are entitled to a portion of our crops and we must pay tribute to them on the fifth Tuesday of every month.

Images of wealth and fame beyond the dreams of avarice propel the ego of the athlete; and who can blame them? We buy Jordan's shoes and Peyton Manning's jersey because they are an extension of the people we are inundated with and have grown to love.

But keep this in mind: they are human beings; Exceptional human beings-sure, supremely gifted human beings-of course, entertaining as all get out-human beings. We have a very prominent athletic department here on campus with obscenely high-caliber talent. You see them on the bus, in class and on the field. They are people, just like us, so judge accordingly.